A
female
age
41-50,
*k050144
writes:My bf of 10 months, but we worked together for a year n a half prior ... Has a lunchbox full of nude pics of himself w/ him, exes end , exwife. They are all very tiny and apparently very comfortable w/ themselves. I believe that he loves me and may one day want to marry me, but I have gained 15 lbs since our move to fl. He refuses to get rid of the box AND actually asked my permission to have an ex (who has a proff photog.) To send him a copy of what is simply "a really cool" photo... She's topless! WtWf do I do?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Omg this is SOOO wrong....
Unfortunately, I can tell you from past experience that this is only where it BEGINS. If he gets away with this....and can happily ignore your feelings on this....who knows what he'll try next?
Kick his selfish, insensitive ass to the curb.
A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (20 October 2009):
 Do you realy think he love you? or at least is this what he called love? what about some respect? is that already forgotten? if im the woman, i will not accept that.
Man come to me and say he love me and i accept that love and now he still carrying that ex remembrance specially that kind of photos, i dont think this is healthy. If i love him dearly then i will accept everything even it hurts me like hell, but even i love him, why should i suffer like that? do i deserve it? No" of course not. so he better choose. take that old stuff from the past out or live the now with me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2009):
He seems to be a bit of a collector of women. At least don't let him take any pictures of you naked, or everyone will see them. For this to work, he has to delete all his others. If he doens't, forget him immediately.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): You need to insist that you are the lady, he has a fresh, clean start with. So...tell him to get rid of them. Set a boundary and maybe he'll respect you because he isn't doing that now, is he. Many people in relationships may feel it's okay to have nudie pics of exes. I say okay to that, as long as "both" people are fine with it.
However in your case, if you don't like it and it makes you feel pain..then his possession of these pics has become an insult to the integrity of the your relationship and is causing hurt to you. When people say to you that these photos are harmless and all they are is trophies, they are not you, they are not in your relationship and they need to realize that to you-- these pics are very harmful and they go against your relationship values and what you believe in. They are hurting your feelings..you need to tell him this and he should be sensitive to that, by.
And I have to add...how on earth is having these old nude pics of women he used to date going to possibly enhance your future with this man. This will just keep on bugging you until this blows up your relationship. I just find it absolutely ridiculous that some men are this ego driven and self-involved as to even try to keep nude pics of ex gf's. How disrespectful to his new lady love.
Also, have you ever thought what you would do if he ever asks you to 'pose nude'? Because if he likes his trophy pics, I sure hope he never scans them and posts them on the net. let's. Sorry, I had to say that but I hope you are assured that he is trustworthy with any nude pics of women he has in his possession. And as I said, I suppose holding pics like this as 'sweet memories and trophies' would make me wonder who else he shows the photos to, especially if he has little respect for the privacy of his exes. Very telling. I wouldn't trust this guy with a camera in his hand, at any opportune moment.
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A
female
reader, jeslet992 +, writes (19 October 2009):
You need to be firm and not back down on this. If he loves you, he'll respect your feelings and if not then maybe you should rethink your relationship. If he's still thinking about other women and making you feel insecure, then there's something wrong with the amount of time you've been together and the level of commitment you're at. Talk to him, because being upfront is the best way to solve a situation involving a guy.
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