A
female
age
51-59,
*uliene
writes:My BF is a whinner. He is all the time stressed up with everything. He complains about money all the time and I feel that I cant ask for anything. When he is stressed he screams,yells,and break things. I try to make him happy and make him feel ok,but it is getting hard. His brothers are the same.They are all the time complaining about eveyrthing.Also his parents talk badly about everyone else.They talk badly about people that we know,all the friends.His father asks my BF to tell the stuff about his friends and he talks badly about them. They are a bunch of negative people. I am with him for 8 years now,and I feel that I have to endure them,and his friends also,that are complainers. They have tons of money but they complain all the time about money,jobs,the bosses.Everyone for them are rotten.I feel an alien with these people. I love my BF but looks like he will never change.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2013): He will not change so you'll just have to accept it if you choose to stay with him.
Frankly I advise you to leave him because toxic people like him will drag you down. It sounds like this is already happening. Negative people are like vampires. They drain the life out of you.
I am willing to bet you will be much much happier and lead a more fulfilling life if you were with a different and more positive partner.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 November 2013):
 8 years of that? Isn't it about time you accept that THIS IS who he IS? So the choice is now yours... Do you want MORE of this.. or are you done?
This is how they live their lives. If you have children with your BF, THIS is what they will learn, not from you perhaps but from their dad AND his whole family.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 November 2013):
 Ok so you have listed the things your boyfriend and his family do that bother you.
you've been with him 8 years... they are not going to change
do you want advice on how to leave him
or do you want advice on how to accept that THIS IS HOW HE IS and he's NOT GOING TO CHANGE
because those are you two options.
leave and be happy
or stay and learn to accept what makes you unhappy.
change for YOU is an option. change for him and his family... not so much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2013): I'm sorry but you may love him, but it looks like he will not change. This isn't good for your health and well being. The whole situation sound stressful and completely negative. I don't know if you have tried counseling together since you have been with him for 8 years. If it doesn't get any better you have to leave that environment. I hope this doesn't escalate into a dangerous situation. You have to stay safe and take care of yourself. Sometimes even people who have
money are not happy or satisfied and it wont get better only worse. I have seen it happen and you sound like a lovely person who is trying. Please talk to a therapist or someone close to you who will listen and help you through this. Stay well and safe.
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