A
male
age
26-29,
*raddee
writes:I think my boyfriend is delusional and lost. We're both 16 and he's confusing me so much. We come from different backgrounds. I live a comfortable middle class suburban life and go to private school. He goes to a rough school (People have been killed/stabbed in that school before) and lives in a pretty dangerous area. He lives with his mum only, his 24 yr old brother died from drugs and his Dad has some kind of mental illness. Anyways he's obsessed with Marxism, he has given up on school work because he says he's going to lead an anarchistic revolution and create a utopian-like society. I ask him about qualifications and jobs, he doesn't want to be a 'wage slave or desk jockey.' At this rate he's going to end up dead before 30 or in Jail, he agrees too. He also gets very angry at me if I try and debate with him about Politics because he said I make him doubt his beliefs when I do. I personally don't care for politics, but I think what he's siding with is too extreme, but he thinks it's the intelligent way, everyone else is a drone of society according to him.It frustrates me that someone I love (been with him for 2 years) has to be so self destructive. I know he's depressed, but he keeps pushing me away, it's like today when I saw him, he told me that when he said "I love you and want to be with you forever" it was a spur of the moment thing and that hurt me deeply. I asked him if he loved me, he didn't reply. Also last week he told me he thinks people stare at him on the street because he's done an awful crime when he blacked out or went to sleep, then it was on the news. He's seeing a psychiatrist/counselor, but they don't seem to be doing much at all, his condition has been so bad for the past 2 weeks.I'm leaving on vacation for 3 weeks starting from next week, and i'm worried he won't miss me and he'll break up with me, I couldn't cope if he left me because I love him very much and would support him through anything. Then in July I'm leaving for two years to study on the other side of the globe, and I'm worried that he'll do something bad that I can't save him from.What can I do now? And sorry this question is so long, but thank you for reading!
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female
reader, lysha  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 ididnt even need to read he whole of this before ihad one thing to say..you obviously come from a very good upbringing, find someone nice+who doesnt carry all these problems!your too young to deal with them, it will bring you down!if it helps... icome from a middle class family, public school and the rest but my boyfriend comes from a rough family, but his dad moved out of the circle and wanted to prove everyone else wrong he didnt wanna be tard with the same brush just because of what his family is like, but my boyfriend hung around with his cousins, got drunk, smoked weed, had fights+got arrested, he did this because he felt he had to follow in his family footsteps, this could be your boyfriends problem, so try have a word with him but be careful how you say it to him, because you dont wanna offend him!luckily with my boyfriend idid have a word with him, itold him idont like weed, so he has stops and now he feels sick at the smell, we both have the occasional drink up on special occasions, he fights only if someone starts on him first or his close family or me, +he hasnt been arrested in months!try get your boyfriend to sort himself out like ihave, if he doesnt bother then sorry he isnt worth it+you will get dragged down by his problems? hope this has helped xx
A
male
reader, inhibited +, writes (7 April 2011):
 I'd add it's also important to let someone else in his life know just how extreme his views are, for his sake if nothing else. If he vents through you and suddenly you're gone his outlet is gone and he may drift further away from mainstream ideals.
Can you talk to his mother?
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (6 April 2011):
 I want you to really think to yourself if you will miss all of him in those three weeks or will you just be missing the idea of you two together and all the effort you have put into this relationship. He does need help but I don't think that you are the one who is going to be able to give it too him and with you sticking around you may be fueling his problems. He is able to vent to you and be who he wants to be when really he needs to be shown that his ways won't get him through life.
You are young and I don't beleive that you should be tied down to all of these problems because of him. Take those three week to see how you feel. I am thinking you will be feeling relief to be away from him which would tell me that the relationship isn't right for you.
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