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My bf joined the army, I Cheated, but how do I get my friend back ???

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 September 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 September 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

ive been with my bf for 2 1/2 years and i do love him dearly. the problem is he decided to join the army last year. im only 18 and found this hard to deal with. i resented him for joining the army but at the same time i still loved him. we split up because we thought it was best but we couldnt be apart. we got back together and 10months later we are still together.in april i went out for a mates birthday and got really drunk, i was so bad my mates thought i might have been drugged. i ended up snogging this bloke and gave him my number. he kept texting me and i always replied even though i was still with my bf. when he finally left for the army i started going out more and more, id always bump into this bloke and at first i resisted but after a few months id always be drunk and end up going back to his place for sex.this happened about 5times but then i came to my senses and put a stop to it.

when i look back now i can see what a mistake i made, my head was really messed up, i didnt know what i wanted and i resented my bf for going away and leaving me. im not trying to justify what i did because i know it was wrong, im not looking for any of you to make me feel better about what i did i just wanted to askfor advice, one of my friends has stopped talking to me because she cant stand to see me acting the perfect gf when she knows what ive done, she feels bad for my bf. ive tried to explain to her i know i did wrong but if i tell my bf what i did he would be so hurt that he would end it. how do i get my friend back?

please help me xXx

View related questions: drunk, got back together, split up, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

this is so obviously doing your head guilt and frustration is really bad. your freind seems a nice person who feels strongly about what you done. i can not tell you what to do but my advice would be toyou that you should come clean to your boyfreind and take it step by step. lots of relationships mend after affairs. then tell your freind that you have come clean and that you do not want to lose her because she means a lot to you. and to me it sounds like you are more hurt over your pal than your b/f maybe a clean break from the b/f is more needed

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A female reader, sarah y +, writes (13 September 2006):

If i was in your friends position then i would find keeping all that a secret too.At least you are ready to admit how bad you have acted lately.Maybe you need to ask your friend on what she intends to do with this secret and tell her how ashamed you are and feel.Tell your friend that it will never happen again and with her help you can sort yourself out.But remember secrets have a nasty habit of coming out in the open.....Good luck.

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2006):

camille agony auntSo this isn't about your boyfriend you've cheated on, but your friend? I admire your friend, I'd find it hard too. You didn't just do it once and so I'm not sure you can or should carry on as if it didn't happen regardless of whether you've come to your senses or not. He's sure to find out eventually and better if it comes from you. You met when you were 15 and are still young so I can understand how you were sad and missing him and that can cause people to do crazy things, but if you want your friend back, then maybe come clean to your boyfriend and she'll respect you again. I'd be inclined to do anyway, but for your fella and yourself rather than your friend. Anyway, pick your time carefully, the guy is possibly having a really shitty time. Hopefully he'll forgive you and you can move on from this. Better than living with the secret. Good luck but try to get used to the fact that he's away and there's nothing you can do about it except wait, be supportive and faithful.

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