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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He is really good to me. He has never pressured me into doing anything i dont want to do.I did something terrible to him i would think.The story begans like this when i first started talking to my boyfriend. this other boy was trying to talk to me to me too. I never said anything to him like that ive have seen plenty of times and just said hey. Now this is 2 years later and i went to a little get together and he started talking to me and he was like you still go with your boyfriend and i said yeah. So he was like can we really talk your boyfriend does not have to know. we got to talking and one thing lead to another and we had sex. My boyfriend called me and he was like i heard you had sex with someone else and i said no and he believed me. i tried to explain the night and my boyfriend said if you didn't do it don't worry about it. I feel real bad but, the situation is that i have heard something about him before my situation happened and he said no. we really love each other and he might be the one. If i tell him he will break up with me but in the back of my mind i don't know if he has cheated on me i don't know to believe what comes out of his mouth because he has admitted to me that he has talk to someone but nothing has happened.I have that gut feeling that he is cheating on me what should do? Tell him what happened with me and tell him what about him if he is cheating on me. I don't know waht to do.
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male
reader, he4she  +, writes (24 December 2010):
Starting out a relationship with a lie.. I see red flags everywhere.
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reader, pops +, writes (17 June 2005):
Cheating is the biggest flag that tells you that the relationship is going nowhere. Telling your partner that you cheated, when you aren't married, seems a bit silly. Spare yourself and him the embarrassment. Keep your mouth shut. Better to ask yourself why you cheated on him, and sort out that answer. I suspect that the two of you never sit down and have a heart to heart about where your relationship has been , where it is going, and where you want it to go, end, etc. Same for your sex lives. Most people do not know what turns them on, and spend a lifetime learning. With luck, it is with a committed lover, who listens and pleasures you without regard to his own pleasure, all the time. In a great relationship, you should both feel free to lust after each other whenever and wherever the opportunity arises. Leave notes; send greeting cards you have altered to suggest why he should remember today for what you plan to do to him when you see him. If he's watching TV, pull down his zipper and service him orally or manually, or both to climax, lick him clean, and zip him back up all while he continues to watch that favorite show. Or wait for the commercial and climb aboard for a quicky that will be over when play begins. Don't talk to him, and don't let him talk to you. Just fuck him. and tend to your own orgasm. God gave every woman the necessary skills and tools to avoid becoming a " Football " widow. Fondle him whenever. and wherever the opportunity presents itself. massage him with your feet under the table in restaurants, or at the library, etc. Make a gift of your sex organs, and body to him some time when it is how your feel and it will be seriously meaningful to him. If he gives you his sex organs to play with whenever, I think you have the basis to trust each other sexually. Find out what type of women turn his head. Don't be intimidated. If you spot one of these women when you are with him, whisper to him to look over and check her out. He will love you more for this. Tell him what kinds of guys turn you on and ask him to get your attention if you are not looking the right direction when one of these guys is around to check out. Who cares where you warm the engine, as long as the car is parked in your garage each night ? This kind of agreement goes a long way to getting rid of jealousy and feelings of inadequacy that we all have. If your man knows he can have you anytime he wants, who can compete with you? If he knows that you will do anything to him that makes him feel good, so long as it doesn't hurt you, why would he look for another lover? If you have as many orgasms with him as you want or need, why would he be concerned that you might seek out someone else? Pops
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reader, kt  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 a relationship can not last when you dont trust each other. i think that you should sit down and have a talk tell him the truth and make sure you get it back. i know that it will be hard but sometimes to get into the light you have to walk though the darkness. sometimes you have to do what you dont want to do, to get where you want to be. and maybe then you will have a better relationship!good luck!!
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reader, sweetypie +, writes (15 June 2005):
No matter how much you say you love each other, if either of you have cheated then the relationship is pretty much over. I know its harsh but people dont cheat unless they are unsure about their relationships. To me trust is the most important thing in a relationship, if you dont trust your partner then you will never be totally happy. You clearly dont trust your boyfriend and you have betrayed the trust he has in you, even if he doesnt know you. maybe you would be better off as friends? but if you really dont want to lose him then you should come clean. Keeping somthing like that as a secret will either ruin the relationship completly or if that doesnt happen then he will find out one day, those sort of things dont stay a secret forever. Good luck.
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (15 June 2005):
 Always be truthful. To you and him. If you think that it is wrong for him to cheat, what thinks that you are any better and that you can do it and he cant? i suggest you talk to him about it. if you come out and say that you have cheated in your past with him, he will come out and do the same. You may not want to ruin the relationship, but you already did, it sounds to me as if you two dont have a very good relationship going on. well just talk to about it and calm down good luck ~Robin~ aka advice gurl
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2005): It sounds to me like you are both in the same both and having doubts about your relationship. People cheat for a reason, even if they don't realise it at the time. Ok, so your boyfriend has told you he didn't cheat, yet you still don't believe him; you don't trust him. Trust is an essential part of any relationship and it is diffcult for a relationship to last long without it. I think you need to speak to your boyfriend. Tell him how you are feeling and see what he says in return.I know it's difficult but you both need to be honest with each other. You should tell him you slept with somone else or else you'll have a relationship that's not only based on a lack of trust but also on lies.There is something missing in your relationship but in order to fully understand what you both want, you must talk to him. Good luck!
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (14 June 2005):
 I think that if you really think he has cheated and so have you that you should let this ride and say nothing. it appears that the trust element has now gone and you need to rebuild this before you can move on. You either come clean and hope he did sleep with someone else and you can put your differences aside and maybe you can somehow move on as you are both being open and honest... if indeed didnt sleep with someone else then hes the one that will have to forgive... think carefully before you do say anything... maybe see how things go and maybe you can move on from this... it will become difficult if you really do think he is cheating .... maybe ask him again... if he comes clean then maybe you should. In the meantime keep quiet, it appears that you have both done something wrong, perhaps you should both agree to be honest and focus on getting past this together, concnetrate on the good things and maybe have a talk together and see how things can improve for the two of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2005): You need to wise up. If you cheated or he cheated then he is not the one. If you truly love one another no cheating on either part would have happened. Once a cheat always a cheat. No exceptions.
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