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My best friend’s sister doesn’t seem to understand that she takes the “joking” too far!

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2018)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi guys.. I have a situation that I need your help and advice on.. I have always got on ok with my best friends sister (she’s 30, I’m 36). But when she has a drink she takes the p*ss out of me.

We’ve had like nights out (me, my best friend, his sister and his partner). The last 2 were out of the area, they were really good until the jokes went too far, to the point where I was the butt of more or less all the jokes. For the record, I can take a joke, I have banter with all my friends but she just keeps going on and on and on and it goes too far.

Anyway, my best friend has arranged a couple of nights away abroad where I’ll be also taking my girlfriend (his sister will also be going but it’s fine, as if she starts when she’s had a drink, I can go elsewhere with my girlfriend). But he’s also having a night away for his birthday, my girlfriend cannot make it so I’m not sure what to do... As I say I get on ok with her when she’s sober, it’s when she’s drunk (mainly).

I’ve told my friend how I feel and he’s suggested me talking to his sister about it but I’m sceptical that it’d do any good as I can imagine that she’ll just forget when she’s had a drink or turn it into a joke and have more ammunition.. I don’t want to miss his birthday but don’t want the anxiety of something happening. What should I do?

View related questions: best friend, drunk

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 July 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntTalk to her, she might take it to far but she probably doesn't realize that she is actually hurting you or causing you anxiety. You just need to be honest with her when she is sober, and if things don't change then you just need to stop hanging out with her. I am sure she is a reasonable person and she doesn't mean any harm.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2018):

BTW, don't miss your mate's birthday party over his sister! You're a big-boy, and you can take it! Just catch her before she has her second drink; and ask her to give you a break. Keep in mind, she's your mate's sister; and you have to be polite.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2018):

Do as your friend suggested, and have a talk with his sister about her annoying tipsy behavior. She can't seem to help herself when she's on a roll; and I guess you're fertile soil for her humor.

Once she starts, take it as your cue to to get-up and go shoot some pool; or find another place to sit, until her well of humor runs-dry...or she passes out. Everyone must be encouraging her with a lot of laughter; or she wouldn't keep it up!

When she gets too far into her standup act; you can also ask her to put a lid on it, and buy her a cup of coffee to sober her up. You have every right to speak-up when you've had enough of her barbs; and ask her to chill with the stand-up comedy act. Take it on the road!

She's having a ball seeing you squirm. Just between you and me, I think she fancies you; and likes to gnaw on your nerves, because you've never taken notice of her. She's a female, and you treat her like she's just one of the boys. You have probably never considered her as an attractive woman, or told her she looks nice. So she takes aim, and fires-away to shame you in-front of the lot. You probably put on a frown, or furrow your brow the minute you see her. She has noticed. Sometimes women will not be direct about how you've hurt their feelings; they'd rather annoy you somehow.

So she targets you to rub your nose in it a bit. Women usually have something on their minds when they repeatedly go after a guy. If this is the only way she can get your attention, she's going to ride that pony into the ground!

I suggest you man-up and just ignore it. Take it like a man, and laugh it off! If she doesn't get too personal; it's just a joke. Remember, she's several sheets to the wind. Most of it probably sounds like mumbling anyway.

Just walkaway, or take a walk outside until she's out of material. Don't let her ruin your evening. I think a talk will do it. She just wants your attention, and to be treated like a female instead of...just one of the boys! Even if you do have a girlfriend; she's probably pretty, and that makes your friend's sister feel even worse! Or jealous!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 July 2018):

Honeypie agony auntTake her aside and have a chat. Tell her that she isn't funny but hurtful and it needs to stop.

She is not so oblivious when drunk that she doesn't know what she is doing. If she was... then she probably couldn't even speak clearly.

You might be skeptical whether it will work, but... IF you do nothing.. nothing will change.

If nothing changes after a "chat" I would simply tell your friend you no longer WANT to be around his sister. Enough is enough.

Banter is fine, but someone acting like a bully for laughs is just not OK.

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