A
female
age
30-35,
*cogirl
writes:I met my boyfriend in March 2011 and at the time he said he had broken up with his ex in April 2010. We have dated ever since (about 9 months). This ex did cause some problems with us because he was letting her live in his parents' rental because she was evicted which was only supposed to last two weeks. It ended up lasting three MONTHS. When she finally left, she left the house trashed. she has two big dogs and didn't clean up after them. She had lived in the house with my boyfriend while they dated so some of his stuff was still there and she ended up taking some of his stuff. My boyfriend didn't really react to this at all, which I thought was weird and was kind of mad at him for not being upset with her. Other than these ex-girlfriend issues, we were doing great. Well, a few weeks ago, his ex texted and said she wanted to know if she could call him because she wanted to tell him about this new guy she was dating. We got in a fight because I was still kind of tiffed about how he never confronted her about her behavior. Finally, he admits that they really broke up only a month before we met, in the beginning of February. This did make me really upset that he lied to me, but eventually I did decide to forgive him, but never forgot. I am a graduate student and he has a job about an hour and a half away. I am currently staying at his place over my Christmas break. Well today I got kind of curious because I am still having some trust issues and he left his Facebook page open. I opened up his messages and saw a conversation that took place between him and his friend April 11, 2011. His friend said he saw my boyfriend's ex the day before and that he was sorry. My boyfriend asked what about and he said she told him that they had broken up last Monday (April 4, 2011) and that he thought they were only taking a break. We met March 19. We slept together the day before (April 3) and had already made out a few times. This means they were still together, if even on a break. I'm not sure if this even matters any more because it was 9 months ago, but it still upsets me. My mom thinks I should just let it go, but now I worry if he has lied about anything else? This bothers me, but I do not want to tell him I was snooping on his Facebook. UGH. Advice?
View related questions:
a break, broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 December 2011):
 iloveperrieedwards is right - you need to confront him. Yes the snooping was wrong, but if the Facebook messages are right then he was seeing both you and his ex at the same time! Regardless of how long ago it was, cheating is always important and if your relationship started off with lies, then you are right to wonder what else he has lied about.
I know I personally would not want to stay with a man who was two-timing me with his ex at the beginning of our relationship, I could never stay with someone who lies so much and cheated on me at the start, if it starts with cheating you can almost be certain he will cheat again. If he left his ex for you and cheated on her with you, then you can be pretty sure he will do the same to you (i.e. meet another girl, cheat on you with her and then leave you for her).
You have to say something, you are right not to trust him so talk to him and get the truth out of him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, iloveperrieedwards +, writes (22 December 2011):
Honestly, I think you should confront him. Sure he will be annoyed that you went through his inboxes on facebook, but then it gives him a chance to confess other things and give you a proper explanation to this problem. At the end of the day, you have got to remember that it is not your fault as you were completely oblivious to the fact that they were still in a relationship, so definitely dont blame yourself! But I think you should really talk to him x
...............................
|
