A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a small problem that is tearing my relationship apart, i have been with my boyfriend nearly 6months and we love each other, really clicked from day one.the problem lies with one of my close male friends who ive recently been back in touch with, we broke friends becuase he haboured some feelings for me, he now says he's over this and we're giving the friendship another try. my boyfriend hates this and thinks he's trying to 'groom me' into bed, we really argue over him and my boyfriend calls him horrible things like weirdo and freak, but he's never met him or given him a chance.last night i went out with my male friend and didnt call my boyfriend because by the time i got his texts i thought he would be asleep. he then text me at 4am asking 'where did you go?' no hi no nothing. i really dont like his behaviour sometimes, he gets so moody and angry and he will be really hostile and swear and call me names so much i cry. i really love him but i find our relationhsip so hard and i wouldnt stay if he was anyone else.
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male
reader, Western3589  +, writes (17 January 2009):
 I dont think i can give a better answer than dazzerg. But i would bring up how much it hurts you. Your boyfriend seems like he is afraid this boy will steal you and his anger takes over and he does all he can(calling him/you names etc..).
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (17 January 2009):
 He is obviously insecure to my mind. He sees this guy as a threat to him and your relationship and that is why he is being like he is; what you have to do is actually talk to him about it and probably provide some reassurance too.
He shouldn't behave the way he is doing but from what you say here I can also understand why he is feeling insecure and threatened. You both need to talk to each other about your feelings and you both need to be prepared to be a little understanding of how the other is feeling. Tell him you need to talk; again reassure him if necessary that it's not you ending it etc and find a neutral space where you can talk.
Say at the beginning that the talk needs to be non-judgemental and that you just think you should talk recent events through. Tell him it's him you want and all you want is friendship with this other guy and encourage him to talk about how he is feeling. Ask if he is feeling insecure and what you can do to reassure him etc etc...
Good luck :)
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