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My aunt tells me that I should wait a year or so to have sex because she said the older you wait to have sex the better it will be for you.

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *naldia writes:

hi, I'm a virgin and I'm 18. I really do want to have sex but I take my virginity a lot serious. My aunt tells me that I should wait a year or so to have sex because she said the older you wait to have sex the better it will be for you. Do you think that's true in this case for a female in my situation? Please give your opinion... thanks a lot

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A female reader, Analdia United States +, writes (9 October 2008):

Analdia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Analdia agony auntim not talkin anbout the way it feels im talking about how waiting will benefit me

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

Sex feels like sex no matter how long you wait.

If you are ready now, then by all means conssumate that. If you love the guy and he feels the same, then conssumate it.

If you both care for each other enough that sex is the best and most natural way of expressing that... then have sex.

You can listen and consider any and all advice given to you. But eventually you will have to make your own choice based on your own opinion.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, Analdia United States +, writes (8 October 2008):

Analdia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Analdia agony auntthanks EVERYBODY!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

I also think that's true. It's better when you do it because it feels right to you and you are with someone you TRUST, because there are many things involved.

People do tend to get bored of sex after they have been doing it for a long time. Check other posts and you'll see. So the later you start, you'll have more time to enjoy it in a more confortable and intimate way and not just in hotels when you can afford it.

Virginity is worth much more than the media makes you believe and it's not as horrible not to have it as religion says.

It's all about finding your own timing, when and who with you feel right. Forget about the media and friends.Sex is much much much marvelous when it's an expression of love than just temporary lust for someone, I swear.

A warning I feel like I should add. I had many friends who lost their virginities with their boyfriends and then they got stuck in ugly relationships (one hit her, another used to put her down) with those guys because they had lost their virginities to them.

So make the best decision you can, use your head and your heart and even though thing don't turn out the way you wanted you'll always know you took the best decision you could with what you knew at the time.

Button line: Respect and protect yourself and demand that respect from others.

And when the time comes, I hope you have a great and beautiful first time.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (8 October 2008):

Basschick agony auntI agree with your aunt. There's no harm in waiting. Plus you're more likely to find a stable man who actually wants to be with you long term, instead of just an 18-yr.old fling thing. Hang in there! It will be worth it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

Virginity is nt dignity,it is jst lack of opportunity.it is based selfishness in relation 2 human conduct.just mk up ur mind,weda nw or l8ta,its stil d same thing.catch sm fun girl!

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (8 October 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntMaybe so, maybe not.

Maybe so, because 18 is a young age.

Maybe not, cos I heard that the longer you wait, the more it hurts your first time. Don't know if that's true or not.

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A female reader, masquerade711 Canada +, writes (8 October 2008):

masquerade711 agony auntI would say the older you are, the better decision you can make for yourself. It also depends on who your partner would be. A boyfriend? How long have you been dating?

I would not suggest that your first time be with some random guy whose name you may not remember in the morning. I will get a little personal here...I did that, and I've regretted it. I've had some incredible sex since then, but I wish my first time could have been more memorable than it was.

I'll be honest, your first time will probably hurt (in varying degrees of pain) and the last thing you want is a random guy who doesn't really know you (therefore doesn't really care) and is basically ripping you to shreds telling you it's supposed to hurt, so just lie back and it'll all feel better in a second. You want a guy who will stop when it hurts, kiss you, tell you to let him know when you want him to keep going.

Basically, make sure it's with the right person, and make sure that when you look back on that day/night a year from now, you'll be looking back and smiling, not trying to forget.

masq

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