A
female
age
30-35,
*arie23
writes:Dear Cupid,Hello again, I have written here a few times over the past year asking for advice about my ex and the depression I was going through. He had moved back to his hometown 4 hrs away and told me he did not want to have a long distance relationship and therefore broke it off with me. I was devistated obviously and I didnt think i would get back on my feet, I was very much in love with him. We never stopped talking for 4 months until one day he pushed me to the edge. I finally decided it was best to not talk to him even though it hurt a lot.Days passed by and soon turned into weeks and I was happy and having fun again. A new semester in college started and I was making new friends and meeting new guys. I was finally able to say he was the last thing on my mind, although i still loved him I was an inch away from moving on from him. Then he came back into my life.First, all he wanted to know was about the new guy in my life and said to talk to him if I had any problems or questions and he would be glad to help. I was skeptical and it felt a little awkward but i confided in him anyway and he was a big help. We talked for 2 weeks straight without fighting and he gradually started getting more flirty and soon told me he loved me. I was caught by surprise because I thought he was over me 5 months ago. He told me he never stopped loving me and he was stupid for not seeing a great thing he had in front of him. That he has changed and his perspective and goals have too. He told me he felt horrible for leaving me and giving up on me and that's not who he is and he will never do that to me again. The tables seemed to have turned because now i was the one who wasnt sure if I wanted him back....but he had finally said everything I have been telling him he was blind to and that we were meant to be together. He finally realized it all, why did it take me to leave and come so close to getting over him to realize it?long story short I decided to give it a try with him. I still love the man and I want to be with him but the long distance is starting to hurt me and with the problem of other men in my life wanting me, it makes me wonder. I know if there is a doubt in my mind maybe i shouldnt do this but I really do want to be with him, but neither one of us is set to graduate from college for another 2 years and not having him here is taking a toll on me. I feel if I tell him I cant do this i'll be a hypocrite. I love him a lot but I am so torn. If he was here there would be no doubt...but he isnt. I have no idea what to do. I believe if i tell him I cant do this, this will be it for good between us because he said this is all or nothing. But if I stay with him the possibility of tempation or me being so sad that he isnt here will take the toll. I have no plans of cheating or leaving him for anyone else and I dont see it happening but because I just may get sick of being lonely....I have no idea what to do...any advice? thank you.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 You got over him once and was able to live your life. I'm not telling you to get over him but you can live your life and see what happens in two years. You can't just put your life on hold because he's not there. He's only 4 hours away can't you visit once a month or at least set a time scale for visits to keep the relationship fresh and ongoing. Love always finds a way and if you can't reach a happy medium then you must ask yourself what it is you really have. Good Luck!
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