A
female
age
30-35,
*hweilove
writes:A while back, I met this guy online. Since then, we have been talking and we both believe that the relationship we have is real and it's begun to get really hard to cope when we aren't talking. We have a lot in common and what should be considered a huge problem (his Christianity and my atheism)isn't a problem at all.The biggest problem is that we have never met and that I am 16 (17 in a month), he is 24, and that this relationship is illegal. Things have been going really well until now. I have attachment issues and so does he (from childhood... I'm still experiencing mine). He would like to be married in the next two years and children sometime after. He's really doubtful and suspicious of my faithfulness because of my age and because of my "beauty". He also gets angry when my attention isn't solely on him.I'm beginning to think that that is all normal and I'm fine with it. I'm willing to leave the family I have left behind for him and I'm willing to leave my dreams untouched for him. But he's started to back away. He's told me that he feels like I'm in jail and whenever we talk, it's my one phone call.I have made plans to drive to his place (800 miles/15 hours away) but he never seems to like the idea of driving to me.I've always been known to be somewhat depressed because of my past and my mother has even suggested medication but what is happening now with this guy, I can't take it. I need to be by him. I'm beginning to have panic attacks when he starts to talk about breaking up with me.Any advice of a long distance, younger/older relationship?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Dont make the trip..anything can happen..he could be anyone and you might be raped..please,think straight about this..it happens often,he should be locked up because you are a minor,why is he getting a kick out of messing with a kids brain? if he loves,he has to show it by coming to you first,then because your relationship aint legal yet,i advise that your parents have to see him and put their stamp on it,first.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 December 2009):
 I have a bad feeling about this Christian guy.
I'm not surprised that he likes a sixteen year old. I don't like, however, that he's talking about marriage to a minor he hasn't met and isn't willing to meet. If he's willing to marry you and have kids, his jealousy and his talks about leaving you seem like pressure to have you where he wants you to me.
Suppose the man is very much in love with you. Christian or not, he would like to come to your place, meet your family, talk to people, et cetera, before he even talks about marriage. He would like to create a stronger bond, and to be known to his future in-laws, to actually spend some time with you, et cetera. Or, at least that's what old-fashioned me would do.
How come he, an adult, can't make the trip, but expects you, a minor, to go all that distance?
My recommendation is that you don't do that trip. Ask him to come to you and meet your family, et cetera. Let's see if he can do it.
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