A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically this is a rant and a rave about my boyfriend cos hes pissing me off lately. I'm 19 years old and never lived away from home until three months ago when i moved in with my boyfriend. It was a totally irrational decision and wasnt thought out right at all. I wasnt earning any money and he wasnt earning enough for the both of us, was struggling on his own let alone having someone else there. But he asked me to move in all the same and so i accepted. The first month was when the money lectures started at me. So i said well if its such an issue ill go home and come visit you on your days off. He pleaded me to stay and so i did. Then it stopped for a while. Now just recently, after weve been living together three months. Hes saying hes in the worst financial state hes ever been in blah blah. I feel like hes blaming me. Ok so fair enough, i should be helping him towards paying for food and electricity and water. But the rent and council tax arrears hes in and has been in all year? That is not my fault. Im not even registered as living here, its his flat and his debts. He wants me to give up the money ive been saving to get a tattoo ive always wanted to pay off his debts. The thing is he wastes his money on really stupid things like 100 pound toy trains and harmonicas and wigs and really stupid stuff he doesnt need. Also drugs and alcohol. All of which could have gone on his debts but didnt. So now its getting really serious and maybe losing his flat and im entirely to blame of course. But he wasnt even paying his rent fully before i moved in, its just got worse cos now hes wasting his money on shit as well (none of which is for me)Its not like i dont do anything for him. I clean, wash, cook, have sex with him twenty times a day, listen to all his rants and raves, never kick off with him and always make an effort for him. Ive rang job seekers allowance and they were meant to be ringing back today so the balls rolling then. I have tried looking for jobs but it is practically impossible in the crisis were in especially for a girl that doesnt have grades and no CV.. Plus im starting college in september and wont have room for a job really. I just feel too young to be bogged down with all this shit. And even if i did get a job, id want my money to be going on good times and clothes and tattoos, stuff young people do not paying off his debts!!Am i in the right or wrong? What should i do?
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debt, drugs, money, moved in, tattoo Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lovestruckduck +, writes (19 June 2009):
move out, move back home, get yourself a job and dump the bf who seems like a bit of an idiot. Really drugs rather than rent, really you want to live with that?
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (19 June 2009):
 You should print off your post and give it to him. You need a job, it's not fair for him to be paying for you, but then again it's not your fault he's wasting all his money on pointless crap. You should help a little bit, but as long as he promises to pitch in too, and stop making stupid purchases. He's got to take responsibility and so do you. You're not ready to be selfless. If it doesn't work out then you should move back in with your parents.
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet +, writes (19 June 2009):
Eh, to me it sounds like you're not ready to be out on your own. I think you need to move back home with your parents.I'm not sure where you're at on the 18-21 scale, but you're reaching that point where you almost need to start working at least a part time job so that you have money for things..He doesn't sound like exceptional bf material, either..
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