A
female
age
41-50,
*uffyquackenbush1
writes:I asked a q before about a guy who may be gay. He is good lookong, very intelligent and highly educated. He is effeminate but he doesn't dress "gay." However, mamy people who meet him for the first time think he is. His colleagues think he is. However, I believe I've seen him flirt with women and look at them in a way a gay man wouldn't. In addition, he is a professor and someone suggested he may be interested in his female students. He is in his 40s and may be dating one, though he hasn't been seen with her in the past few months. So, my new question is, this is an effemimate guy who many people believe is gay, and he does nothing to refute this, and he lives with a male roommate/housemate. Maybe the fact that his colleagues think he's gay, helps him get away with hitting on his students because no one would believe he'd do it. Nevertheless, I am very attracted to him. Given these facts, is he someone that you would even consider- into students half his age/possibly dating one, or possibly gay but in either case effeminate, good looking, successful, and in his 40s and living with another guy?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): "Any man above the age of 30 should not be living with anyone else, whether that is parents, roomates, friends etc"Why not?Really, some guys like company. Me, personally, I didn't, but back to the OP's question.The only way to know if a guy, or a gal, is gay, is for them to tell you that they ARE.If they tell you they are not, they still might be...but be closeted.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): living with roomates doesnt translates to be frugal. Loneliness is a big torture. Getting a roomate is a good way to beat it ....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 April 2011):
 sounds like excuses to me.
btw frugal before marriage means frugal after...that won't change.
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A
female
reader, muffyquackenbush1 +, writes (27 April 2011):
muffyquackenbush1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs far as the economics, I think he's frugal not poor. Maybe he's waiting until he gets married so he'll have plenty of money put away. Does extreme frugality justify living with a male housemate in his 40s?I actually know professors, personally, who married their students. However, none of them were more than 10 or 12 years apart in age. The only way that I can justify it, is that he was waiting for a stable position or tenure before he started looking but what is concerning is what and who he's looking for. Is he just lazy? Is there a difference between dating a significantly younger person if that person is NOT your student? Why must there be a power component? He can't lose his job, though. It's perfectly acceptable where he works.
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A
female
reader, muffyquackenbush1 +, writes (26 April 2011):
muffyquackenbush1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I don't know that he has dated students, plural, I only know of one, in particular.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2011):
would not appeal to me...
but as my grandmother always said "there is a cover for every pot"
it just does not sound promising at all.
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A
female
reader, muffyquackenbush1 +, writes (26 April 2011):
muffyquackenbush1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I don't know that he has dated students, plural, I only know of one, in particular.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 He doesnt sound like much of a catch to be honest! Any man above the age of 30 should not be living with anyone else, whether that is parents, roomates, friends etc....it is a clear sign that either a) he cannot afford to live alone, or b) is not very mature and still thinks he is a college student. Either way, not a good sign!
And if he is dating his students, well where do I start on this! Even though they are not school students, on the basis that in some states in the US the age of consent is 21, and you can go to college from the age of 18 - he could well be having sex with underage girls which is illegal. If he is dating students he clearly has no respect for his job or employers as he could be fired immediately for this. I definitely would not want to be with a man who could be going to prison for statutory rape any day now! Plus he is in a position of responsiblity and power as a professor, he is preying on these young girls and taking advantage of them, it clearly shows he has some serious personal issues and I would be very sceptical about his mental stability.
As much as he might be attractive and successful (although that could all go up in smoke if he was found out for dating students!) - there are millions of other men in the world who are attractive and successful.
This man sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen, I would stay well away if I were you! As much as these could be rumours about him being gay and dating students, often there is no smoke without fire and in this case, it sounds like there will be some truth in one of those rumours, and whichever one is the truth - you dont want to be involved.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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