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Known him for a long time, like him a lot, should I ask him out??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2010)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i have known this guy for a while now and i have anways loved him sooooooooooo much..but he seems to avoid me sorta..we talk somtimes but not alot...he is usally a jerk to people but not to me...should i take my chance and ask him out?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (1 October 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt In my opinion ,no.

Not that I think that girls should never ask a guy out and always wait for them to make the first move.

But if he never gave you even the faintest sign he might be interested , and is, in fact, actively avoiding you,...

well, one should not be afraid of rejection, but should not even go courting it .

Then, the jerk thing. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck ,then it's a duck. He is not a jerk with you... but very probably because you want to see all his actions in a positive light and are willing to cut him a lot of slack. Or,perhaps, because he just does not let you come close enough to him for treating you the way he treats all the other people .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

Hello there,

I kinda feel like i know where you are coming from, even from the small amount of information you wrote up.

I had the BIGGEST crush on a guy ever since the day I met him. I was 16 when I really got to know him but about 14 when I met him. We started hanging out quite a bit but he was older than I was, and I just always thought of him as my idea of the perfect guy. He really is amazing and I always kind of kept him in my thoughts but knew that nothing would ever come of it because he was about 7 years older than I was. Im 21 now and he is still one of my crushes but its more of just an admiration now. He has always been there for me, but he has a serious girlfriend now that he has introduced me to (shes really nice!).

My whole point of this story is that I never would have stepped up and asked him if we could ever be more than friends. I hope a part of me never regrets that. But if you feel like this guy is really really something special and that there might be something between you two, then heck, why not ask?

The part about him being a jerk, i hope its just a sort of playful jerk that he acts with friends? No matter how wonderful someone may seem, as the old saying goes "love is blind" and no one deserves to be treated poorly. Especially when there are actually sooooo many great people out there that would surely be better for you.

Perhaps make a list of your "perfect guy" traits first and then see if he stands up to your list.

But in any case, good luck! :)

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