A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessSmithee
writes:its abit of a long questions but its pretty straight foward ive just added deatil.i had sex with this guy last night after going to the cinema, ive known him for about 5 months and weve been sort of liking each other, well ive liked him alot and we speak online alot. Its been really hard to get to see him though because he doesnt make effort, yet when we do meet up its amazing.But last night after going to the cinema we went for a drink and i found out hes slept with 15 people. which made me feel abit wierd since id only slept with one.But we went back to his to 'watch a film' and ended up having sex, and he traeted me so nice. but now the day after, i cant get out my head that im probably just another girl to his collection and he treats everyone like that that sleeps round his, its really hurting me.i dont know what to do, i want to be more than just friends with him. but i dont know if he would ever see me as a girlfriend.Ive been in this situtation before with the first guy, and i was heartbroken for months. I just want to find somone that wants me aswell as just sex with me.I was thinking about just carrying on going with the flow and havign sex with him a few more times for my own personal pleasure ;) aha. but i dont know if i can ,i like him to much and i feel like this everytime after, and knowing hes probably having sex with some other girl the next weekend.What would you do, just ignore him and move on? id feel mean though just ignoring him. or should i tell him how i feel or ask him if it will go anywhere
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 May 2009):
 You might jsut be another girl for his collection, you sure made that easy for him...
Don't feel bad about having sex with him, but understand every action has a reaction. Having sex with him might stop him from wanting to "date" you, if that is so, well then you know he wasn't for you.
If you want a relationship with a guy take the time to get to know him. Spend time with him ( and no not through the internet chatting, texting, IM'ing.. ) but spend actual time with him. BEFORE having sex it wil spare you of some heart ache.
Lot of women aren't really able to do casual sex (with out getting emotionally involved) you are one of those I think, so realize that you CAN have both, but if that is what you want you are going to have to take the time to get the right guy. In the end.. it's worth it. You get to keep your self respect, dignity and you get the added bonus of a "keeper" :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): SOunds like you had these very same questions before he nailed you, and you still slept with him? Time to re-check your decision-making tree, and next time come to a differnt answer: "No, thank you." Unless your in a relationship with a guy, and the guy has shown you he cares, and respects yiu, and yiu're not wondering whether he does or does not love you, simple: do NOT leep with him. Guys do not fall in love with girls who allow them to sleep with you. Once they've lost respect, that is it. Does not come back (unless it's for another screwin'.)
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Right you have to learn to say NO, you will continue to get walked over by guys if they can take you out, tell you that you look pretty and you will jump into bed with them.
Guys don't date girls that are easy to sleep with, and he is a player so make him work for it, if he likes you he will keep putting the effort in, if he is just after sex he will loose interest and look elsewhere.
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