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I've only ever had one relationship

Tagged as: Breaking up, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Very trivial, but I hate how long it's been since I last had sex.

It's been.. Almost 5 months. I've only ever had one relationship, and it lasted about a year and a half. I still have a lot of feelings for my ex (and PLEASE don't just assume that Sex is the only thing I miss about my ex, because nothing could be further from the truth), but I hate how it feels so long ago since I last had it!

I wonder. How long have some of you gone without Sex? Is 5 months really that long to go without it?

Before I end this, I think I should stress that, while it may sound as though Sex is all I think about, I would like to dismiss this as false. I'm enjoying my life, but I have needs, at the end of the day!

View related questions: my ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

I've gone without it for 5 months before, I sympathize with you totally. Humans are sexual beings, I don't know how preists survive half the time!

I'm a little confused about your post, you mention missing your ex girlfriend, as well as missng the sex, so I'm thinking you're wondering whether to get her back? Depends on how the break up went, if it was you who did the deed, it may be easier to get her back than you think. Call/Send a message/email saying you miss her touch and the happy moments you shared together (it's worked for me before!) and see if you get a response.

If not, you've gotta moe on buddy and find youself some new action. All the best!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007):

My wife left me and filed for divorce when I was 33. We had been married for 11 years. For the first couple of months I missed her and couldn't stand being alone. I don't remember thinking of sex that much during those months. Anyway, it was 6 months before I had my first relationship. We had sex on the 2nd date and have not stopped since. That was 28 years ago. My first new partner finally became my wife. I had other partners for the 3 years after we met, but she was always first in my mind. I love sex, but a close relationship has always been more important to me than the sex. I need her love more than the sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007):

im currently on 19 months! its not as bad as you would think actually. its a bit like an ex boyfriend. at first you miss them so much but then as time goes on they kind of stop meaning as much to you as they used to and you get over it. i missed sex at the start but im over it now lol.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007):

I understand your frustration, and any person of quality goes through this....of course you have needs, you are made of flesh and blood after all, but the thing that seperates us from our animal instincts, is our brain.

Your heart yearns for a connection, your body yearns for sexual release.....the beauty of love is when these two things collide. It is worth the wait, and you can always pleasure yourself (yeah I know it is not the same) as far as missing your ex, you miss what could have been but wasn't. Keep your heart open to someone or something else, and realize that 5 months is nothing in a lifetime....be patient, and know this, the likelihood of you finding love again, as opposed to not is about 100% chance of love.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (29 September 2007):

rcn agony auntAlmost a year.

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A female reader, Melanne United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2007):

Melanne agony auntHi I know that sex isn't the bee all and end all of everything sometimes lonliness when we are not with someone is bigger than a sexual desire will ever be.

You say this is trivial what makes you say this? You are important as anyone else. It sounds as though you have low self esteem and maybe having only one relationship makes you feel even more insecure. It sounds like you have to explain things like when you say please don't think it is all about sex. I think there is a lot of insecurities in your life and that being in a relationship gives you a sense of security.

You probably also crave the companionship that a relationship brings. Relationships are never all about sex anyway and if they are then there must be something wrong. I think you want a companion someone to be with and yes sex does come into that, but there is nothing wrong in wanting that.

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