A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are planning on moving in together soon. We have always been opposites when it comes to pretty much everything. But now we are having a problem.We cant decide on what type of dog to get. He has ALWAYS wanted a German Shepard. Mainly because they make good guard dogs and he likes the way they look. He's about 6 ft tall a good 160 lbs so he isn't easily intimidated by dogs. He also grew up around pets. Me on the other hand, I'm 5'4 on a good day 100 lbs. I've never had a pet, not even a fish. I prefer sweet dogs that are nice to strangers. I have kind of had a fear of dogs since I was chased down the alley at age 9.(Also I'm black and I've noticed a lot of dogs don't like black people) So its safe to say I'm intimidated by a big scary dog. I would love either a bulldog or a black Labrador. What should we do?? I really want a dog! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 There are breeds who live well in apartment, they have a low level of indoor activity and ,once they have gone for their "hygienic " walks, they are sort of couch potatoes.
Basset hounds, dachsunds. Beagles . Other breeds too...but they are all small or medium/small "girlie " dogs, very different from the muscly macho dogs your bf likes...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): I was kidding about the poodle thing. If you live in a flat with no space then stick with a goldfish.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Absolutely NO dog at ANY TIME whilst you live in an apartment, it really is not appropriate. Both of you out at work all day, what happens to the dog, or don't you think about this???
This is really selfish, sorry, but in TOTAL agreement with Cerberus here, it is just SELF-Orientated I want attitude, NOT at all thinking about the animal, and what IT NEEDS. Having such a beautiful animal as a German Shepherd would be so cruel, they are powerful dogs, needing lots of room and exercise, not cooped up all day with two people working, and the times you will bot be tired and not want to exercise it.
It never ceases to amaze me the selfishness of some adults, who only think about what they want, not considering they may not be in the right position to have an animal - as this just demonstrates exactly how neither of you should have a dog, of any size..you don't live in a house with a yard or back garden or in the countryside where it would have plenty of open space to be walked, on a regular basis.
Your boyfriend needs to grow up and think about the dog FIRST and NOT himself, and until he can afford a home with a garden and backyard, then NO dog!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 December 2010):
 A German Shepherd in a FLAT? Omigod, how selfish of your boyfriend, and unrealistic and frankly cruel. That's just not a good idea.
A stubborn boyfriend who thinks a dog is a fashion accessory or a status symbol, hm. Not sounding very promising to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): No yard, no dog. No offence but it's a cruel torture to keep a dog in an apartment. Lots of people do it and there are breeds that don't suffer as much. But a German Shepherd is a dog bred for wide open spaces. Definitely not an apartment dog and frankly if your partner won't consider the well being of the dog over it looking cool and mean then he shouldn't have one. I doubt that is the case though I'm sure when you both research a little then you'll find a good one.
Look as a breeder I've trawled over the internet and saw what people say, I also see how other people treat their dogs in my industry and it's cruel and unusual punishment.
I really wish people would get rid of the term 'pet', they're not toys for our amusement, they're animals with needs and requirements, like children they need best life you can give them based on their needs and natural instincts. People really should get a dog based on what they can provide for that animal. They will be the best most loyal companion you can dream of, people should get dogs they can take care of to their best ability based on their available long term resources. Not because it looks cute or cool (although you can factor that in as a secondary reason). I've refused many people dogs because they live in apartments, I've also had to take dogs back, fully refunded of course because the new owners weren't taking care of them properly (silkies are very high maintenance).
Look you're probably going to do it anyway, my opinion is only one of many and lots of people have dogs in apartments and can give their own justification for doing so.
If you are then please no big dogs, no high energy dogs, be prepared to take it out a lot, or you'll be cleaning up piss and shit all day.
Remember this is an undertaking for that dogs life time, 14-15 years. It is exceptionally cruel to bond with a dog become its master and life long companion only to abandon it to the pound because your circumstances have changed. You might aswell throw away your child, it really does ruin dogs. You know the pound only has a certain amount of resources too, if a dog isn't taken in a certain amount of time then it is put down to make way for other ones.
While you may really want a dog, please consider it s well being before you make a decision, please ensure you have 14-15 years of your life to give to this dog.
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female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 Have you checked that the apartment building accepts large pets? It seems a little cruel to leave a dog in a flat where he cant regulary go outside or come and go ad he wants. My inlaws have a little dog, and he's always running and needs to be walked twice a say and is left outside for a few hours a day so he can run around by himself.
Have you thought about a cat? Or just waiting till you get a place with a garden one day? Animals get depressed when they are stuck in small spaces.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Just try and convince him to get a little poodle or something ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for the advice! We were planning on moving into an apartment, which means no yard :(
I always thought the German Shepard was a bad idea but he's a bit stubborn. I'll definitely take your advice and wait on getting the dog as it is such a huge responsibility.
But we've always managed to compromise with each other so whenever that day comes that we do get a dog I'll remember everyone's advice and meet him in the middle :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Never put a dog in a kennel ( as has been suggested), they are sociable creatures, designed to be pack animals. Which means if they are not in a pack of other animals to interact with, it is a very cruel way of keeping an animal, especially if it is to be part of the family environment, and not an ornament to be brought out to suit the owners.
Having had horses, cats a Springer Spaniel, a Labrador, German Shepherd, Golden Retriever and a Dalmation throughout my life, they were all part of the family, never were left outside, nor in a kennel at any point, in return they gave true devotion and love.
Please note: Dogs also 'feel' emotion, and express it, look at any dog pleased to see it's owner when arriving home, how they sidle up to you on a sofa, they respond to kindness and become better companions and socialise better with people if they are NOT treated as a second class life form.
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female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (11 December 2010):
 I have always had dogs growing up and even though I am super comfortable with dogs,maybe wait till you get adjusted to your new place. Do you have a yard? Are you going to walk them every day? I will say I have had friends have american bull dogs and they start to turn aggressive later on in life. Might be a concern.
I got my dog off the side of a street and she is a collie golden mix. She is super sweet, but she gets really protective and training her was very tough (I recommend kennels for dogs....the first couple of days are horrible but its worth it in the end) also grooming is a challenge...all dogs need some sort of grooming but there are times I brush my dog and I literally have enough fur to knit sweaters for 3rd world countries. I have 5 different types of vacuums but at the end of the day....I will always have a dog. Because she is always there for me. She never left my side after break ups, she always sits at my feet, after surgeries she didn't leave my bed. So good luck.
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (10 December 2010):
See if you can find a book called "The right dog for you "
by Daniel F. Tortora ( published by Simon and Schuster ).
It's a helpful tool for choosing a breed that matches your personality,family and lifestyle.
I would not recommend you a German Shepherd, they are wonderful dogs but not the right choice for a first - time dog owner.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): If you have a phobia of dogs then it's understandable your are catious about owning one. If, however it's because you think German shepherds are aggressive, that's something else.
I own a German shepherd and they are beautiful dogs and are not aggressive. They are very intelligent and require a lot of mental stimulation and training so for the reason i think you would be better off with a little lap dog.
Have a talk with your boyfriend and maybe you can compromise on getting something a little smaller and easier to take care of.
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (10 December 2010):
 My ex has a german shepard who is the softest dog ever. He is very intelligent and he is very well trained. Although he does jump up at people, it's never in an aggressive manner, and as one poster said, He is my exes dog, even though he was always very good natured whenever i took him for walks. German Shepards are also very good work dogs (my ex does security) and can be quite intimidating, but both my ex and i love him to bits and he is well looked after.
But maybe a german shepard would be a too big of a responsibility for first time owners. Maybe go with something small to start with. Do some research on the internet with your boyfriend first, see if you can reach a compromise by looking together. Good luck
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2010):
Cerberus, that's great advice. One thing to elaborate on that, is that many dogs in the US dog shelters are pitbulls or part pitbull. I would shy away from those as a starter dog as well.
Don't get me wrong on pitbulls, they can be lovely and wonderful dogs, and probably have earned an unsavory reputation due to their owners rather than their actual temperaments but I personally wouldn't risk it.
OP, sounds like you have a real dog person giving you excellent advice on breed selection!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): German Shepherd need lots and lots of training and attention. They're great dogs, exceptionally smart but they're very advanced in intelligence, they need a strong handed owner which means it would essentially be his dog and you'd have very little control.
They make good guard dogs because they are strong and VERY territorial. Which means if you don't properly socialize them with other dogs and humans it can become aggressive with anyone that enters your house.
Most importantly though German shepherds need more exercise than most other dogs, they need lots or they get frustrated and bored, they're not the type of dog that will happily laze around the house all day you really don't want to have a frustrated and unhappy german shepherd they're too big to control physically. They're bred to hunt wolves and protect farms and as you know as guard dogs and attack dogs. You have to get one from a line of good tempered dogs too which if you're not an experienced owner you won't know.
Basically don't get one unless you're planning on getting a big house with a huge back yard and as a first time owner of a dog it's not advised.
Bulldogs are lovely dogs but they're the canine equivalent of the hunch back of notredame, they're very prone to health problems, very serious ones too. They're genetic mutants and they're bred basically to look good but they suffer their entire lives from breathing difficulties get arthritis easily etc.
If you want an experienced dog owner and breeders opinion, your best bet is to get mongrel. I breed champion australian silkies beautiful dogs but a lot of work and as terriers they're just the most fun dogs you can have. Always up to mischief and have great personalities.
But as i said a mongrel is your best bet, go to the pound and find one that's got the qualities that both of you are looking for. You see dog breeding is basically inbreeding genetically, it's the same as you only marrying within your own extended family, now you know why that's not a good idea. Well the same applies to dogs. Mongrels are the most genetically healthy dogs, you might wonder why that matters, well they're the ones with the best temperament they're the least likely to develop abnormalities and illnesses because they have mixed genes. Plus you can get one that satisfied both your requirements and also if you go to the pound you'll get a good honest opinion of the temperament of the dog from the volunteers there, whereas owners very often lie about that to first time owners.
Remember big dogs are very expensive to own and they're a cost that will last 14-15 years. Because unless you're cruel and cold hearted then after you bond with that dog it will be family and there's no way you could give it up.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2010):
And I have to say that Jilly is correct. Wait until after you have reached a stable point in the relationship as she advises. I focused on the new dog and failed to discuss the new living arrangements.
So my advice is to follow Jilly's advice FIRST. Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): May I suggest you both WAIT before getting a dog, I appreciate your boyfriend has grown up with pets, which is nice. But with you both being so young, and you have no idea YET how you are both going to get on over the next 12 months - SORRY, I'm being practical here, and thinking about the animal.
You have already YOU are complete opposites on pretty much everything, so my point for suggesting you wait, is that, IF these differences should prove too vast, what would happen to the dog if you broke-up???
I'm NOT being a part pooper, merely voicing how getting a dog is a BIG responsibility for you both, before you've even had time to get used to each other, you would be having a THIRD person if you like, putting demands on you and your relationship. I am a massive animal lover, so this nothing to do with you getting dog from that viewpoint, I've had animals all my life. But they need a lot of looking after, and should NEVER be purchased or picked from a shelter, with the view that if a marriage or relationship doesn't work out, the animal is given away or put-down.
Animals are defenceless, and dependent on us, therefore we should ONLY ever give a dog a home IF we will look after it and care for it whatever happens within a relationship. Dogs/animals are NOT just for Christmas but for life, isn't that the saying.
There will be loads of time to get a dog once you have both enjoyed the moving in together, done all the things young couples do, got used to a routine, sorted out the blips along the way, we all experience them when we first move in, and perhaps this time next year when you know how you are living together..you could welcome the patter of paws and bundle of joy for you both to love!
Wishing you lots of love and happiness in your new home!
Jilly
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2010):
DOH! "I'd start with a Lab, they HAVE a good ..."
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2010):
A German Shepard is too much dog for a new dog owner, I think. He can get one after you have the chance to raise at least one or two dogs who are smaller and will train YOU a bit in the mysterious ways of canines.
Your height and weight don't really matter, my dog trainer was roughly your size and had 5 Irish Setters and a German Shepard. She didn't have any problems with any of them. AND she would clean their teeth with dental tools. She knew how to handle them and they were beautifully trained.
You both should go to dog training so you can learn to handle your dog AND you should make sure you socialize them very well.
The thing about German Shepards is if they are not well socialized, you may run a risk introducing them to children or fearful people. If you don't know how to handle them, this is a major risk.
Bulldogs are adorable and generally nice but they can be willful and stubborn, which is challenging for a new owner. Their other issue is the pushed in nose leads to respiratory problems, as well as hip problems. Any breed with a pushed in nose tends to have them and they can be devastating. They overheat very easily due to the short airway.
I'd start with a Lab, they aren't have a good desire to please their owners. (So do German Shepards but they are more wary around strangers.) Just be sure you get one from a reputable breeder, they have some health problems from overbreeding. They tend to be food motivated and can wind up obese if not properly exercised.
German Shepards have a history of gait problems, hind leg problems and hip problems, so you HAVE to make sure you don't wind up with one that has massive problems later. It'll cause you terrible grief to have to put one down due to this issue.
Bulldogs live 8-12 years, German Shepards average lifespan is 9.7 years, Labs live 10-12.
I'd start with a Black Lab, get at least to 3 years of age with the Lab and then you can think about the German Shepard. That would my advice on this one.
Good luck!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Might I suggest taking a day to make a trip to the animal shelters in your area. There's not only mixed breeds there but there are pure breds as well. These animals get dumped off, some their owners pass on in life, others ran away, and some are abused. It's all about the dog that picks you, they have the personality you're looking for, that happy disposition, that is potty trained, and loves a big back yard. You'll feel good for rescuing that animal for potentially being euthanized down the road, and they're eternally grateful to you for giving them a permanent loving home. I would google if there is any Lab or German Shepherd rescues in your area, but like I said do give the animal shelters a shot.
On a side note, German Shepherds shed a LOT..so if you have any kind of allergies I would shy against that breed. However, they are excellent watch dogs. Labs make excellent family dogs. Both breeds you will find available to adopt at animal shelters.
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