A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a terrible problem. I am a 28 year old in a relationship we are planning to get married. I was very happy with my life until I went back to college as a mature student..now BOOM! I think I have fallen for my lecturer..or at least I am lusting after him pretty bad at the moment. He's funny, tall, dark and handsome and SO darn intelligent as well- he has a serious side and he can be very kind. He's...well I'd say mid 30s, perhaps, so there's no age gap, to speak of, I know most of these type of stories revolve around huge gaps in age. However, I feel guilty as sin for this. If my boyfriend found out, it'd kill him. I know I'm a grown woman and should know better, so i don't need advice like this...I am an attractive woman so i have been told.This guy, I am not sure if he likes me or not but I have seen several things in his behaviour that suggest he does. He stares at me and blushes sometimes, he has ''sparkly'' eyes as he talks to me and he helps me a lot. He's got beautiful eyes..I get a vibe he's married, but I can't be sure of that either as he does not wear a ring. My crush is driving me to distraction, and I really want good grades. I'm gonna be gutted when the college programme comes to an end..really GUTTED. I'm thinking about it now, how I'm gonna feel, not having him around to brighten my day and such. I wan tto get this guy out of my head. I am usually such a sensible, rather serious type of lady but this man has me giggling like a school girl. Anyone, PLEASE help me!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): You have a crush. Nothing more. Are you really so immature as to let such a frivolous thing destroy a solid relationship.You need to utterly minimise contact with this crush to only those encounters that must be had for school purposes. No personal chats. No emails. No texts. And absolutely no conversations unless they are work related. And no flirting.Every time you find yourself starting to think of this crush, call your boyfriend and flirt with him. Soon enough, this other guy will fade away.At your age, you should know these things. Having crushes is one thing... actually considering acting upon them is another and if you do, you deserve all of the negative consequences and pain you will feel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, when did I say I'd just met this guy? I have known him awhile now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust like an American to blow their top! What has growing up got to do with anything at all? I said I wasn't a teenager so what are teenagers the only ones who can have crushes?? I'm asking elsewhere because it seems I've gotten under your skin, whoever answered the first question. How nasty can one person be geez....sorry I darn well bothered!
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A
male
reader, Jaydilla11  +, writes (6 July 2012):
well in all honesty and i mean this in no disrespect you have to get your STUFF together how are you going to throw it all away on a man you just barely met, sure we are all human and have crushes but if you would have told me i have known my lecturer for a while and i have gotten to know him and now i think i am in love with him i would have looked at this different. but you are telling me that some guy you just met has got you lusting and wanting to be with him you need to grow up and in all honesty i do not think you love your boyfriend as much as you think you do so grow up and get over it sorry to be harsh but that's life
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012): If you want to get him out of your head, then take the collage break as an opportunity to do so. Give your head chance to clear, do things with your boyfriend that couples do. I'm sure you still love your boyfriend but your judgement is being clouded by whatever it is you feel for your tutor... Don't give yourself chance to throw your relationship away for something that isn't solid and might not even be an option.
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