A
female
age
30-35,
*twinklex
writes:What have I done? My boyfriend has now been away since October and I miss him so much, and there's still 2 months left to go. I can't imagine being with anyone else but him.But I've done something horrific... I was on the phone to a very close friend of mine who knew how lonely I was feeling about the whole situation and one thing lead to another and wed gone from comforting conversation to sex talk. I feel so dirty and horrible I just want to cry. I don't know what to do... I'm such an evil person, I don't deseeve the lovey boyfriend gives me.
View related questions:
phone sex, sex with another Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Sex talk, or talking while touching?
It's not the worst thing you could have done, and while completely unacceptable, it's not always a deal breaker. That depends on how your boyfriend views this. But you could also write it off as a mistake you did, where you played with fire, but have now learned not to do that again.
A
female
reader, xtwinklex +, writes (1 February 2011):
xtwinklex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSerenity, I wish I could call him and talk to him every minute of the day. But he's in prison, so I can only talk to him when he has credit to call me. We kept our relationship secret to avoid problems so on our calls we act like friends so I really miss the intimate side of us. This I can get no reassurance for.
I have decided to cut ties with the friend at least for now. I feel hurt and used as he seems to have been waiting to tale advantage as he knows about the boyfriend.
It just hurts so much that he's been taken away and for no real reason. I don't think I can or will tell him, but use this to learn from to become a better person and girlfriend. Part of it is, I feel in limbo. Half in a relationship, half not.
...............................
A
female
reader, Br1dgette  +, writes (1 February 2011):
I'm not going to make any judgements about this one way or the other. Don't look for what we think the only thing that matters is what he thinks. It's up to him if you disloyalty should be over looked or not.
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (1 February 2011):
You're not an evil person.
What you do is learn from this. It could have been a lot worse, you could have physically cheated on your boyfriend.
Learn this about yourself: when you are lonely you have the potential to look for the loss you're feeling outside of the relationship.
When you are aware of how you respond to certain feelings it will stop you in the future from making the same mistake. For example, if you get lonely in the future, make sure you call up your boyfriend and get some reassurance from him.
About your "very close friend" maybe you should be warey of them, in that they want to get in to your knickers more than they want to be your friend?
Personally I would consider distancing myself from this person as you don't really need this kind of thing in your life. Move on and concentrate on your relationship, but put this down to experience, learn from it and I'm sure you will be a better girlfriend for it.
...............................
A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Your situation reminds me of my friend - her boyfriend went on holiday for 4-6 weeks, and she was missing him a lot and felt really empty and miserable without him, and I think she started texting this other guy a couple of times because she was feeling lonely. It's not really a good excuse but yeah she ended up doing that.
You're not "evil", it was a mistake, just make sure you don't do it again. And tell your friend that it was a mistake and you feel bad for doing that when you're in a relationship and you don't want to do it again. Don't dwell on guilty feelings, try and move on from it.
You've managed to cope with the distance from your boyfriend for quite a while now. Just keep yourself busy and don't mope around and hopefully the next 2 months will fly by.
...............................
|
