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I've been offered a university place hundreds of miles away, how do I tell my boyfriend?

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Question - (7 April 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for just 3 months but have said 'i love you' already, I do love and fancy him and he thinks the world of me and treats me well. What I am hiding from him is that ive been accepted into my top 3 choices for university, the nearest of which is over 150 miles away from where we live. I made my university application last year before I even met him and havent had the guts to tell him.

My question is basically, do I go to uni or not? Ive been offered a scholarship of a few thousand pounds by the universities but at the same time I know my boyfriend wouldnt accept a long distance relationship because he gets jealous when I go for a night out and I would be doing that quite a bit at university to get to meet new friends.

He wouldnt be able to move to a new city with me because of work commitments. Im terrified to tell him because as much as I love him I want a career too and he is likely to lose his temper when he finds out. I dont want to end up splitting up and then going to university and missing him but then I know id regret it if I didnt continue my education.

Please help xx

View related questions: jealous, long distance, university

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYES you go to Uni! you get yourself a great education. TELL him now. How would you feel if you two didn't last another couple of months and you had turned the Uni down?

If you two are meant to be you will figure it out.

Down the line you WILL resent him and the relationship if you do not go. So be smart, go for your goals.

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (8 April 2012):

MonksDaBomb agony auntDecide on this: do you want to live YOUR life with YOUR dreams, or do you want to do what your bf wants and live HIS life? Also, who's to say the two of you will stay together? Definitely take the scholarship and get your education at the university and live your dream. LDRs do work, if both parties really try. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2012):

Always put yourself first and that means go to university. If you uys are meant to be together then you will find a way but if you sacrifice yourself for this relationship you will always have regrets and the day you break up you will be back to square one and it will be 10 times harder. Get this out of the way now.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (8 April 2012):

janniepeg agony auntYou are actually afraid of telling your boyfriend about your dreams? Is that a good foundation for a relationship? Because of one man and his reactions you are going to let go of your dreams? That doesn't sound very wise. Just tell him you will go to that university but you love him and will stay true to him. Promise to call him every day. Be prepared he is going to say something like every university is the same, degrees don't land you a job, universities are expensive. He can say anything he wants but I think education is still important. If there is a split up it's his decision because he can't handle long distance. You can still do your part in keeping in touch.

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