A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for almost 7 1/2 years now... we've been married for almost 4. We have two sons, one 5 1/2, and the other is 1 1/2. He was my high school sweetheart, and we've been through so much. He was in the Marine Corps, and is such a great person. About a year ago I realized he stopped giving me the love and attention he use to. I figured it was just "getting old" for him. It got to the point where the only time we had sex was because he wanted to, and I had no say in the matter, I did just so we wouldn't fight... He would only kiss me, like a peck on the cheek, because I wanted him to, not because he wanted to kiss me. We lost our passion and romance. I don't know how this happened. It got to the point where I was doing everything (cooking, cleaning, taking care of the boys, ect) and I wanted him to help me, without me having to ask, like he use to... I know I let him slide, and I didn't say anything to him about it, so how was he supposed to know... Now, we both started at a new job and became really good friends with a group of girls, and one guy. I get along a lot better with guys, so I talked to him more often. My husband, this guy, and I were all really good friends. He was so interesting, and sweet. My husband started freaking out about us two hanging out. About a few months later the friend came to me, and he's been a perfect gentleman and had told me that my husband told him he has been cheating on me for the past 3-6 months or so. I was devastated... I didn't want to believe it, but then I started hearing from other co-workers as well. I was really upset, and finally told my husband what I heard, and I wanted him out of our house. He ended up staying with our guy friend for almost a week. It killed me to not have him with me, but I was so hurt, I didn't know what to do. Well, he had gotten sick of waiting for me to calm down and came home. He denied everything, but I didn't know what to believe. I left, because I couldn't be there with him. I ended up staying with our guy friend, because I had nowhere else to go. He was so sweet, and good to me, absolutly perfect. He knew I was having a hard time and did everything he could to help. I was treated better by him in the two weeks, then by my husband in the past two years. I may have been selfish, but I liked the way he made me feel about myself, and life in general. He opened me up to religion, and to how I should be treated. He has kids of his own, and is such a great father. I have had a thing for him since we met, but I never acted on it before. I had fallen hard in love with him, and very quickly, which scares me a bit... As time went by I kept thinking of my husband, my heart was really with him. Now I found out that my husband never cheated on me, and my heart is torn in two. What do I do?!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 February 2008):
 All's well that ends well!
I am glad and happy for you that everything is bright and shinning again in your life.
Take care!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone for your help! Yesterday (2/14) I sent my husband a gift basket, to his work, with lots of his favorite candies, wine, and two wine glasses asking him if I could come over. He didn't thank me or say anything to me all day, then I got a phone call about 9pm. He had asked me if I could come over because he had to go to work late, and I would need to go to our house to watch the boys. I was a little upset, but I knew I had to give him time. When I got there, I walked in the doror, and the entire house was covered with flowers, rose petals, and lit candles!!! The wine I got him was opened and poured with dinner hot out of the oven!!! I think everything will be fine. Thank you so much!!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (14 February 2008):
Time will heal all your hurts and pains. Just be good and nice to him like a good wife should be.
It will return back to normal in time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): In a way you have created a whole new problem now. Unfortunately if you were wrong about your husband cheating, you acted pretty quickly in starting a new relationship.Your husband could well be funny and weird at the moment as it may look like from his perspective that you were actually the one with the motive to break the marriage up.He will need to understand how you could so easily fall for someone else, so quickly. I think you need to ask yourself too, why it was so easy to set up with this other guy. See I couldn't do that. When my husband did cheat, there was no way I wanted to be in the arms of another man. Maybe your husband is now struggling with this issue, which you will need to address at some stage. I can't really see how you can reconcille properly with your husband, or be concerned about that, when your still with this other guy. Who do you want to be with????? Why does this other man have any say??????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I've made a huge mess. I told Mr. Bible that I was going back to my husband. He's trying his hardest to change my mind. I don't know why I let him influence the way I felt. My husband told me he wants me to come home, but when I come around he acts weird. I understand why he feels that way... Is there anything I can do to help us get passed all of this???
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (13 February 2008):
 You were foolish and really made a big mess with your behavior and throwing your husband out, then moving out yourself....and then falling for this other guy...all based on a lie! How can you live with yourself if you hoked up with this man? I know I couldn't. You have to go back to your husband on your knees and beg him for yoru forgiveness. Your new guy has to understand this...or it would appear he is a big accomplice in the big lie about the so-called affair with your husband. I would question motives of this guy who has you both like puppets on a string. What kind of friend helps spread lies that keeps you two apart....Bible guy or not, this guy just wants to get in your pants, and its easy for him to treat you nice for two weeks, when your husband has had to support and love you for 7 years.
You have a lot of repairing to do here, and I would start by breaking up with Mr Bible. I know about the Bible too, and what he is doing is called a sin. Theres a line about covet thy niegbor's wife he should read.
Go back to your husband and fix this thing now. Mr Bible sounds like like a character in the book called the devil.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (13 February 2008):
Just be frank and sincere and tell your husband that you made a big mistake , apologize to him and seek his forgiveness.Since he love you , I think he will accept you back.
You should have checked and verified those rumors first before you take any actions. Your rashness has caused much pain and hurt .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Suffer the consequences! You acted without 'knowing' the truth....you were not 100% factual, but yet you threw your husband out and then YOU left once he returned home. I say this....IT'S YOUR FAULT and you should suffer the consequences.
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