| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I'm 22 years old, and haven't been intimate with any guys until recently. I didnt have sex, but everything else...the thing is, the first time I was really drunk (i still wanted to, i had for awhile) and i enjoyed it. But the 2nd time, i kept pushing him away and didnt want him to touch me. It creeps me out when any guy touches me (i dont mind "touching" them) and i cant figure out why. I feel like this automatic response in my head says "get away". The thing is, nothing has ever happened to me in the past to make me scared, i just feel really nervous and cant concentrate. What could this mean? Am i doomed to never be with a guy?
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female
reader, chirpychicken  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 You will get it one day, you just need to persevere with everyhing going on in your head. are you sure you like guys? sometimes it may be that you are unsure about who you are sexually attracted to. if you are sure then one day the right guy will come along and everything will come naturally
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 Sibaan has a point. You shouldn't be engaging in sexual contact if you don't enjoy it, and if there's no historical reason for you to be repelled (such as childhood sexual abuse). So maybe it's just that you, personally, aren't ready, or haven't met the right person.
Which also makes me wonder: Are you pretty clear about your sexuality? Maybe guys creep you out because you're just not attracted to men, full stop. Being in your 20s doesn't compel you to have sex with someone, you know.
The response that you describe is one that I think is familiar to any of us who are subject to an unwanted touch from someone that we don't have a sexual attraction to. The sort of ickiness that's generated by someone touching you on public transport, or a drunk having a grope. So there's nothing wrong with your response; it just says to me, "not there yet".
What seems to be happening is that you're pushing yourself into something that doesn't feel quite right to you, because you're... curious? Feeling left out? The fact that you did it when you were drunk suggests that you don't really want to, unless the inhibitions are down.
Give yourself some time to get to know a few men. You're too young yet to worry about "never being with a guy"! If you're still jumpy and repelled, even when it's a man you're really attracted to, you might want to find a professional, like a mental health counsellor, to discuss that matter with. Maybe there's something more there that you don't want to deal with..?
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A
female
reader, sibaan +, writes (15 June 2006):
 maybe you just need to meet the right guy before you feel comfortable or even better get to know the guy before you just get with him maybe then you will feel more at ease.
good luck!
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