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... Send *ibaan a private message | | | *ibaan's profile:i dont actually have any reason why i might be qualified except that im one of those girls who can help anyone with their lives and problems but i just cant seem to help myself.i live in south africa and i love making peiople smile and feel special.i have alot of friends who look at me as their big sister even if im yopunger than them. im currently in a steady relationship but hit alot of rocky patches in my life and now im trying to help others who need advice because i know how it feels to be scared and unsure. ive been there so often. i just want to help others. |
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I've let my insecurities ruin a relationship!
Q. I did something really stupid. I had the perfect relationship with a guy i was completely in love with, but i fucked it up because of my insecurities within the relationship. He text me with 'just to say i love you' and i replied with 'i wish i ...
A. 22 June 2006: ok. you need to give him space and if he forgets about you or moves on then he obviously never loved you. you need to work on your insecurity during your time apart because that always pushes guys away.
good luck and i hope everything works ou... (read in full...)
Im 16, he has asked me to marry him, I love him, my dont know what to tell my dad!
Q. ok so like, my mom left when i was 11 and school pretty much sucked for me, then teachers started gettin on my nerves naggin about school work, so my freshman year i openend up a classroom for teen couseling, about an hour or 2 a day, whatever i had ...
A. 21 June 2006: just because you are engaged does not mean you have to get married now you can get married when your 18 and just be engaged for now. tell your dad like it is and stand your ground. if your dad loves you he will understand and be suportive. good... (read in full...)
Can't stop worrying about my boyfriend's ex! What's wrong with me?
Q. Help! I think I'm Obsessed! I have this thing, I can't get over my ex's girlfriend. I need help. It's been years and years. I can't work out what it is. He never even really loved her, but I can't stop thinking about her and trying to compete ...
A. 20 June 2006: you are obviously insecure about your relationship with your partner if your obsessing over his ex..... he obviously loves you not her other wise he would be with her.... ... (read in full...)
Give him a second chance or forget it and move on ?
Q. My boyfriend and i been together for 9 yrs and he cheated on me and i found out and he never denied it, we broke up, he came back and asked for forgiveness and he want me to move back in with him and our child. part of me want to move in with him ...
A. 20 June 2006: everyone makws mistakes, we are all human. give him another chanhce but make it clear that its the second and last chance and net you wont even consider it. he by rights should want to marry you if he really wants to make things right... follow yo... (read in full...)
I need to find someplace to live, coz I'm being kicked out of home!
Q. I'm 15. I'm bein kicked out my house, because hate my mum so much!!! Do you know any hostels or something I can go to for free? I have no money... xxx wb...
A. 20 June 2006: you need to tell me wher you are at the moment, eg country?
then we can take it from there.
xxx
sibaan... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I'm pregnant....what can I do?
Q. So here is the thing... I think I might be pregnant. I havn't had a period in a month and a half and have some symtoms of being pregnant. I've taken 2 tests and they both showed up negative and my insurance won't cover a doctors visit. What should I ...
A. 18 June 2006: you need to go to a local clinic for a blood test and then see the result. iv been where you are and home tests are so wrong, mine also said negetive, what a joke! good luck and i hope everything works out.... (read in full...)
We're both still in school and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend I'm pregnant!
Q. My boyfriend and I had sex one time and now I'm pregnant, but I don't know how to tell him because we are both in school. Please help!...
A. 18 June 2006: you need to tell your boyfriend first and then both of you need to tell your parents and then his together. they will probably be angry but understanding and caring. you need to do this the right way.... iv been where you are.... xxx sibaan... (read in full...)
We are best friends, have both got feelings towards each other, but left it as friends, think I want more..
Q. iv got a best freind who iv been friends with for a very long time lately weve gained feelings towards each other. We decided the best thing to do is remain friends but there are many mixed sgnals as we both tell each other about other people we may ...
A. 16 June 2006: whats really funny is that im in the same situation as you! like i always say a friendship can last a life time but a relationship can go sour and ruin everything...... (read in full...)
Am engaged to be married, but now my ex wants me back - what do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 25 year old female. I had a boyfriend two years back, and everything was so well until the question of marriage arose amongst us. He had some family issues and told me to get married to some nice guy, as he can't give commitme...
A. 16 June 2006: follow your heart, you cant marry someone that you dont have that strong of feelings for. regret is one of the worst things to live with so decide carefully...... (read in full...)
I ran & hid because I don't want to meet his mother! Is he now avoiding me?
Q. Ok so I am in the middle of this relationship and my BF lives in a different town, with his mom. He is not trusted with anything so his mom drives him to this town. But he wants me to meet her! They were driving around today and he pointed ...
A. 15 June 2006: you have to face them sometime. what are you going to do when your married??? you need to hold your head high and meet her otherwise your going to lose your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
I really love my boyfriend, but I don't want to cut the other lad out completely!
Q. Hiya. I have a little problem: before I got with my boyfriend of 1 year, just before I got with him, I kissed another lad just casually. It happened on some occasions but we didn't take it further At this time my now boyfriend we were just kissing ...
A. 15 June 2006: thats easier said then done. you need to get it straight in your mind that you and this other guy sre just friends and nothing more. if you trully love your boyfriend then this should be easy. good friends are hard to come by. by best guy fri... (read in full...)
I Acted in a threatening manner, she says I reminded her of her abuseful dad, she ended it and wont hear me out, what can I do ?
Q. My girlfriend dumped me two days ago over and anguement we had in which i threw a chocolate bar at the wall. She's had problems with her dad hitting her in the past and in the morning she told me that i reminder her of him cos apparrently he used ...
A. 15 June 2006: you need to understand that wants someone has been abused once it haunts them everyday....... (read in full...)
Haven't had a period since March but had 4 negative pregnancy tests - please help!
Q. Im 14 and I have had sex with this lad that I don't even like anymore and he doesn't care about me, neither do I about him. But I did it in April and I haven't had a period from March up until June. I have taken 4 pregnancy tests and they say ...
A. 15 June 2006: ok, you need to ask your mom to take you to a doctor for tests and to see whats up, up there! ... (read in full...)
Does my co-worker like me?
Q. Does He Like Me? We are co-workers but work in different locations and in different fields. We communicate by phone and e-mail almost daily. Our phone calls last sometimes up to one hour - 25% work and 75% just getting to know each other more....
A. 15 June 2006: id say you got a good one girl.
you go girl!
he wants to kiss you, he wants to touch you, he wants you girl and id say go for it!!
just wait and see what happens if you flirt back maybe itll happen right before your eyes....... (read in full...)
It creeps me out when a guy touches me...am I doomed to never be intimiate!?
Q. Hi I'm 22 years old, and haven't been intimate with any guys until recently. I didnt have sex, but everything else...the thing is, the first time I was really drunk (i still wanted to, i had for awhile) and i enjoyed it. But the 2nd time, i kept ...
A. 15 June 2006: maybe you just need to meet the right guy before you feel comfortable or even better get to know the guy before you just get with him maybe then you will feel more at ease.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I have fallen for my friend at Uni, but she is a lesbian
Q. I've fallen in love with a girl I met this year at university. The problem is that she is a lesbian and is currently in a relationship. I thought that these feelings would pass but it's been months and I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not sure ...
A. 14 June 2006: follow your heart. most lesbians are either bi or wouldnt mind being bi.
tryyour luck, who knows maybe she will tell you that she wants you aswell... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex, period was very light, could I still be pregnant?
Q. I had unprotected sex, I got my period but it was very light compared to normal, even though I got my period could I still be pregnant??...
A. 14 June 2006: im going to be straight forward and honest with you. i had my period, then the next month had it again only to find out that i was almost two months pregnant!!
if you want advice then send me a private email and ill try to help because iv been whe... (read in full...)
How do I get over someone and pretend they never existed?
Q. What is the best and quickest way to get over someone and move on as if that person never existed, and block them out? How do you get over an ex that you loved more than they loved you?...
A. 14 June 2006: if you trully love this person then you actually should not give up because your heart will never sit easy if you just try the 'ill forget about them, they never exsisted'
think about it there may just be another way....... (read in full...)
Do I wait around for my BF to grow up and stop hanging out with kids?!
Q. I am 30 year old female and haven't dated anyone for 5 years. My previous ex I lived with but I broke off because he wanted to settle down and get married. I have been dating someone for 3 months now and he really is special, however I am finding ...
A. 13 June 2006: that can only be your choice. maybe you should have stayed in your stable relationship and asked him to give you more time because now you are the one who wants to settle and he is to young to settle.
you need to decide what to do. his friends ... (read in full...)
I can't get this girl out of my head! Help!
Q. Me again - this time about girls. Im 16 leaving for sixth form however, today a girl, who is going into Year 10 said she liked me and that - and i admit i did too - but after the fiasco my previous friend had with the same situation i dont want to ...
A. 13 June 2006: dont care what people think!
if everyone did everything according to how people think imagine what tpye of world we would live in, everybody would be the same!
dont let life get in the way of your heart...... (read in full...)
I know he just wants to be friends with them to get back at me....what can I do?
Q. Hi I am curantly in a relationship where at first it was just to get away from my ex boyfriend Cory. but no matter what I do he is always there. now he has decided to try to be friends with my close friend and cousin.I know it is just to get back ...
A. 12 June 2006: ignore him and wait for his childish stage to pass then tell him that he is childish and needs to grow up other wise he will never truly be a happy man... (read in full...)
Is it bad to just have fun for right now, or will I get hurt in the end?
Q. Is it ok to just have fun? I met this gorgeous guy a few weeks ago didn't think I'd have a chance with him but we talked then snogged and have now begun a very casual physical relationship. Both of us have come out of long term relationships a few ...
A. 12 June 2006: we all need to have a little fun sometimes....
but sometimes to much fun leads to trouble.... (read in full...)
I sent my ex the copy of my pregnancy scan, I heard nothing, is he really not interested ?
Q. hi i wrote a question recently about whether i should send my ex a copy of my scan and although i havent done yet if he didnt contact me after he received it would it mean he realy isnt interested...
A. 12 June 2006: i emailed you advice last time.
i believe he will be in shock and then in time he will realise that he is a dad and either pay up or get involved.
youll never know until you try.
cheer up girl!
keep smiling
xxx
sibaan
... (read in full...)
We had a chat about our feelings, now she needs space ? Is this now over for us ?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for the past 5 years. We lived apart for the first 1, together for 3 and have been long distance for the last one. We are (or were) supposed to move to Boston in a weeks, but last week we got on the ...
A. 12 June 2006: give her space, she is just feeling a little confused. im sure everything will work out for the best.
never stop fighting for anyone or thing you truly love in life other wise you live with regret everyday for the rest of your life.... (read in full...)
I have a BF he has a GF, but I cant get this lad out of my head, what should I do ?
Q. I have a boyfriend who i love but i really fancy someone else! Im in my first serious relationship and im only 17 this is the person ive lost my virginity to n who i love so much, but iv got a job ive not bin at long n theres a lad there i real...
A. 12 June 2006: ok, lets say you break up with your boyfriend and go for this other guy, your together a while and then he breaks your heart and then you realise that you should never have left your boyfriend and that he is actually the one.
well this is what hap... (read in full...)
14 years old & pregnant. What do I do?
Q. I am 14 and i know you are all probably thinking what is 14 year old doing with a sex life and I know I shouldn't be thinking of boys and sex yet, but I slept at my boyfriends house for the first time and we ended up having sex for the first time. ...
A. 12 June 2006: i have been where you are and i understand exactly what your feeling. i also want you to know that i dont judge you for haveing a sex life already because i know how quickley things happen.
if you want to talk to someone who has experien... (read in full...)
I think Im in love with my boyfriends best friend
Q. Hey I am so scared that my boyfriend has found out about me liking his best friend. I think that he knows but I am not sure.He hasnt come around in a while. He is kind of avoiding me, I guess that is how you could put it. I talk to his friends ...
A. 12 June 2006: make up your mind and then decide which one you want, you cant have both and its not fair on anyone that you cant decide. you need to tell yor boyfriend yoursel or forget about his friend. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel anything everytime I have sex! Help!
Q. Why is it that everytime I have sex I don't feel anything! I just don't know what sex feels like! Please help me!...
A. 12 June 2006: you need to try different positions to feel something. some women just battle to feel it but different positions can make you feel alot....
good luck!
... (read in full...)
I already have 2 children, im now pregnant and not sure whether to have a termination, or will this fill me with regret!?
Q. I found out a couple of days ago that i'm pregnant. I'm 20 years old have 2 kids aged 1 and 3 and my teenage sister is living with me. So i already have a lot to deal with and am thinking about an abortion. However when ever i see a new born baby i ...
A. 11 June 2006: i had an abortion and i still battle to face myself whenever i see a baby or an adorable child. its a pain that never goes waawy, it leaves an empty space inside you. rather give him/her up for adoption that way you can still give him/her a chance ... (read in full...)
So desperate for a boyfriend it's affecting other aspects of my life...
Q. I'm 16 and I'm looking for a boyfriend and it's driving me so crazy. It is putting so much stress on me and that shows in the way I treat other people. I don't know what to do cuz I tried everything.. I know it would be easy just to forget about it...
A. 11 June 2006: you shouldnt actually care what people think. if your heart tells you that its right then nothing else should matter........ (read in full...)
Confused about our breakup
Q. i was a (high school) freshmen and i went out with a senior this past year and a few weeks b4 he graduated he broke up with me and i dont understand why he lied about his reason for breaking up!! when he broke up with me he told me it was cuz of his ...
A. 11 June 2006: he is after all a male at a diificult age, where he doesnt want to settle down and doesnt want to play around, he doesnt know what he wants. so he is going to the army, wht didnt he tell you that? he is one cnfused guy who is trying to hide behind ... (read in full...)
Why does she still want to be in touch with me if he's the one??
Q. I like this girl and we have been friendly for about 5 months now, and the other month she told me she had a bf but she still wanted to keep in touch with me because she said she would miss me loads. I dont understand why she still wants to keep ...
A. 11 June 2006: this girl needs to chose she cant play you both like this. tell her straight that its you or him. its not fair on you to be the third party. ... (read in full...)
Stress is affecting my cycle. Is it still OK to continue taking my pill?
Q. Hey guys, I'm worried. I am sexually active but we always use a condom and I'm on the pill. This past month I've been extremely nervous about getting into my university of choice and stress out on other family issues. I started to spot before I ...
A. 11 June 2006: I beleive you should carry on if you believe its just stress but if you think you may be pregnant then dont take them. Spotting is a early symptom of pregnancy. ... (read in full...)
We argue about our friends!
Q. Well, I am in love with a very cute guy who is a student in the country I live in, which is England, so we've known each other for some time now. For the first months after we met things were very nice for us, we used to be conservative about sex ...
A. 11 June 2006: guys have to socialise with eachothers friends its the only way to really get to know each other. your friends know you better then anyone and therefore need to see the person your getting so close to. dont let this come between you, try and find... (read in full...)
She's 17 and not ready for a relationship yet. I'm 21. Do I wait?
Q. Hi I've been on here before and I'm still confused. I'm 21. There is a girl who is constantly on my mind who I am very much in love with. On the phone and in texts she tells me she loves me too and sends loads of kisses and stuff. For e...
A. 11 June 2006: if you really have feelings for this girl, then stick around but what if in the end she doesnt end up with you?? you should go on a date with another girl just to see how she reacts and then you should get your answer... good luck... (read in full...)
What is going on with my boyfriend???
Q. I've been seeing a guy for about 2 months - we'd developed a friendship before that and had very similar interests and the attraction was mutual and instantaneous on both sides. About a week ago, he had to cancel on me 2 nights in a row and on ...
A. 10 June 2006: he is guilty or in denial! you choose?... (read in full...)
I fancy a boy at school but I am not sure about how he feels
Q. there is a boy in the year below me at school that i like. i talk to him everyday and always have a laugh with him and my best friend. my friend started saying that he likes me and when they found out that i like him they wanted to try and get us ...
A. 10 June 2006: come clean with him and then see what he says? you must ask the questions not your friends.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend harmlessly flirting with other girls?
Q. i borrowed my bf's phone to send a message as my battery was dead and just put my sim card in but his massages came up as they were stored to the phone memory, i accidentally read one (genuine accident as the girls name was the same as my friends ...
A. 10 June 2006: no! its wrong but maybe their friendship is just like that. ask him and see what he says. ... (read in full...)
My husband says that I stare at people, but I am not sure!
Q. Everytime my husband and I go out he ends up getting mad at me because he says I stare. It embarasses him and he thinks that "I'm looking for something else." I would stop, but I don't even realize that I'm doing it. I love him dearly and don't ...
A. 10 June 2006: i think he is just insecure and worried that he is going to lose you. just access yourself next tome you go to the mall or somewhere and try not to look at too many people walking by etc... (read in full...)
She acts all sexily around me, even though we broke up because I cheated, I want to be more than friends but what is she telling me ?
Q. I broke up with my long term girlfriend after 7 years when I cheated on her and confessed. I then moved away for 6 months and came back. She still calls me to hang out and do things together. She says things jokingly like "Don't try to seduce ...
A. 10 June 2006: sticky situation from a guys point of view but from a girls point of view its a brilliant plan! she is trying to play hard to get, im moving on and happy go lucky but in actual fact she just wants to see if you will start dating other girls or f... (read in full...)
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