A
female
age
36-40,
*lite123
writes:I own a marketing company and started dating a guy who owns his own business too. Shortly after meeting he started paying my company to do work for his company. I then broke up with him because I got jealous of his ex who is not in the picture.. (but I didn't realize she was not in the picture until too late. Her and I do not have a good history. I over reacted.) He was offended but said I must continue to work for him but from then on only business. He invites me to his house 2-3 nights a week so that we can work together on his couch. We flirt quite a bit but that is it. This has been going on now for 3 plus months. We eat dinner together, he tells me personal things about himself. We have fun and we work. He doesn't ask me to do anything outside of work. However, I have almost completed all the projects we started and he won't have a reason to ask me over anymore. He calls me dear, and hunny and has even fixed my breaks. When I thanked him for the breaks he said that is what friends are for. That is when I said. You are not my friend. You know I am totally head over heels for you. he never responded. (through text) Talking to him one on one is not an option as I can tell that will push him away more. Today instead of flirting back I decided to just answer all of his emails and texts directly with yes or no, or straight questions. After awhile he asked if I was doing okay. I said yes. Is this the right approach. Should I be pulling back or still try to be his friend?
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broke up, flirt, his ex, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (5 June 2010):
 So, let's recap....
You flip over a picture he had of his ex. He tells you from then on it's only business. He sleeps with you and tries to be friendly. You tell him you like him, he doesn't respond. You then cut off all communication with him. He responds by cutting off communications with you.
Now your business deal is messed up and both of you are angry. This is now officially a train wreck.
Send him the to-do list by certified mail, finish up whatever business matters are left and MOVE ON. Nothing good is going to come out of this situation and playing games only makes it worse.
A
female
reader, elite123 +, writes (1 June 2010):
elite123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi west1000!
I read your response the day you wrote it. Thank you for the advice. MY LIFE IS LIKE A SOAP OPERA!! I had already before reading your response... gone completely cool. I put a halt to our meetings, hurried conversations and basically stopped being flirty. Then after about a day and a half of that I had a print issue with our project and had to call and see if possibly he could budge on time and money. Well, that didn't go over well. He was extremely rude said and told me I didn't know what I was doing. I put all of his files on a cd and put in in his mailbox so he could take care of the issue himself. He was thankful and still talking to me. But since then he is ignoring my business questions. (which I have made far and few between... I have gone days without contacting him) Not only is he ignoring me but when he does respond he is going out of his way to inconvenience me. He refuses to help me with our final to-do list for his project. Initially he wanted to meet up and go over the list and I said no. I said we could do it over the phone. Since then he hasn't been nice. I asked him when he wanted to go over the list a day later and He responded by saying he is the customer and I am already paid and he wants this set of revisions made and if there are more we will get to them then. At one point I sent him a message saying... why are you being like this? You are making twice the work for me and twice the work for my programmer. If we spend 15 minutes on the phone and make one list now of things to wrap up and we all agree that is it, then after these revisions we can okay them and we are done. He never responded.
He is either mad about the printing or me going cold... but now I am in a situation. Either way things are not going well. I am just staying clear as much as possible but it would be nice if he would at least answer my emails pertaining to business. I have only sent two and they were necessary and important. He seems like a big baby! hahaha waaaaaaah
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A
female
reader, elite123 +, writes (26 May 2010):
elite123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice... but now I am really confused. I feel like I have hinted around enough or txted him things like... you know I like you. I can't fake being emotionless around you anymore. Ect..... I am too scared to talk to him about it. Right after we broke up I apologized and he said I have to learn from my mistakes and that I need to be patient and I never know what might happen. Today after being mostly business like he sent me a message saying I should be proud of myself and my skills and that I have done a great job and if I continue my path my business will excel. I thanked him. But now I just don't know what to do. At times I feel like things are good and then I feel like it is hopeless. If he wasn't constantly trying to show off to me and be nice to me then I would think he was just all business ( i have walked in his door and he was topless saying... oh i just got home, but then he didn't change for awhile. he is really really built so i took that as showing off.) haha so ape like!! anyway... but then he never tries to take things further. (shortly after we broke up he initiated sex and I was up for it. after 3 mins and me completely unsatisfied he continually said he just doesn't have sex enough and that is why he was so quick. I made him give me the battery out of his tv remote and left! I know that was not good.. but I just can't talk about my feelings with him the way things are)
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 May 2010):
If you're satisfied with being only friends, then by all means continue. If you want more you should move on to someone else. Pursuing him romantically sounds like you would be being a dead horse. He has been clear that he is not interested in you that way (calls you his friend, doesn't ask you on dates) and when you came out and stated your interest, he didn't respond (big, huge honking sign).
I strongly suggest you move on and chalk this one up.
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