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Is this flirting behavior from my doctor?

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2019) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2019)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have just been detecting a vibe. He is a bit touchy feely, like he will touch my hands (playing with my fingers) or my shoulder, and sit close and lean in. He also runs hot and cold. If I am serious he starts to flirt or if I start to flirt he gets serious. He will fidget and sometimes he stares at me, at my earrings, etc.

He has also said the following to me during various appointments:

Your hair looks better

I’m so proud of you

You have a nice smile

I’m always happy to see you

You are a nice person

You always look nice

I’m proud of you

I like your shoes

I enjoy your company

You look tan

On my first visit he gave me elevator eyes. He teased me once. One time I asked about starting an exercise program and he suggested I go to the gym alone(???).

During my last appointment he was talking about his personal life, asking where I was from, etc. He then stood in front of me before he was going to listen to my heart and without any warning he gave me a hug. I was so shocked because it came without warning and I admit I have a huge crush on him!!!

What does this sound like to you? Is this unusual behavior coming from one's GP? What should I do to figure out if he is interested in me?

View related questions: crush, flirt

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2019):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am receptive to any future comments as this situation is still ongoing.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (21 February 2019):

MSA agony auntGirl, if my doctor did those things to me, I'd immediately change doctors! I don't find this flattering at all, but rather inappropriate and unprofessional!

Not to say that a doctor cannot be attracted to his/her patient, but interest should be shown in asking the patient out for a date, and not by comments, touching, or staring!

Please re-evaluate this!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 February 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI have to agree with WiseOwlE he is being totally inappropriate, unprofessional and unethical.

A DOCTOR doesn't flirt with his patients. Not a doctor who is just a BIT smart and a bit professional.

My guess is this is how he treats MANY of his female patients, especially those who seems receptive or lonely.

It is CREEPY.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (21 February 2019):

Typo correction:

" If in-fact, what you've described is true and accurate about his behavior."

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (21 February 2019):

It's unethical, inappropriate, and he's likely to be doing the same thing to other female-patients. Don't get all impressed, because he's a doctor. He's counting on that! He's testing the boundaries.

Let's say you fancy him and decide you want to date him; in spite of all the ethical-lines that would cross. You'll always wonder how he behaves with his other female-patients, if he is so bold with you?

He may only be interested in sex. If he was a proper and ethical doctor; he wouldn't hit on a patient. I know of cases where doctors were sued for that very kind of behavior.

How'd you like to become his girlfriend, and suddenly there's a sexual-harassment suit filed? The odds are exponentially in-favor that is likely to happen; because he's "allegedly" hitting on you.

You won't see it for how wrong it is; because you hope hitting on you is exactly what he's doing! You had better set higher-standards for your healthcare-professionals! I go even further to say, you should for future romantic-prospects.

Then there's one other factor to be considered. How much of this is wishful-thinking?

Nobody here is there to see it for ourselves. It always comes down to "he-said/she-said;" when there are no witnesses to corroborate your story. Next time, have a medical-assistant in the room; if it makes you uncomfortable. And it should! It's totally creepy!

Better yet, get another doctor; if you want to date him. Just expect him to hit on other women. He doesn't seem to know boundaries. If in-fact, what you've described is true and accurate bout his behavior.

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