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Is there some way to tell if he's ready for a girl friend?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2014)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I met this guy in 2013 (he's 45, I'm 42) and we've stayed in touch, texting back and forth. When I met him, he was going through his first year of separation, waiting to be divorced. We met at the worst possible time.

This year in Aug-Sept, we started dating and I slept with him a couple of times, we slept at each others places and we spent time (no sex) together as well. But we were just getting rolling and then things got ugly with his ex, she was drawing out the finalizing of his divorce. (he has kids). His divorce was finalized sometime in mid Oct. So this whole time I kinda backed off and gave him space. We still chatted but didn't see each other.

He's also been out of town for several weeks at a time, 3 times over the past couple of months and I have not seen him in about four months now.

We still have maintained keeping in touch all this time. I'm not sure but I thought he may have been dating someone casually but I could be wrong. I just know this woman liked him and she definitely wanted people to think they were dating but I don't know for a fact other than seeing each other at public functions.

I know he's just come out of a long relationship with his ex 10+ years but things were done between them for the last few years.

I do have feelings for him and he's aware of that. He has expressed an interest in seeing me over the past few months but it just hasn't happened, he's been super busy with work and out of town a lot and frankly I figured he wasn't ready.

The last month he started again pursuing me but then he met this girl and it seemed like he was maybe pursuing her, or he wanted me to think that for sure because he was posting public comments.

So I asked him if he was seeing someone and he said he wasn't sure. So I basically said see ya later at that point because my feeling were hurt. Why would you pursue me and then imply you are chasing someone else to me?

Anyway, after I said goodbye, he started to pursue me again and I did tell him my feelings were really hurt and I have not mentioned anything about seeing him.

There doesn't appear to be another woman now so I don't know

I don't know whether I should totally write him off or give him another chance and see what happens??

I really do like this guy and we're great together but I don't know if he's ready yet for a girlfriend and I don't want to get hurt further if he's not. Is there someway to tell? I've never been through a divorce.

View related questions: divorce, his ex, text

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A female reader, Sincerely Yours United States +, writes (29 December 2014):

Sincerely Yours agony auntI can't be sure, but just in general, it seems dangerous to settle down with a freshly divorced person. It seems it could potentially be somewhat like letting a dog out of the cage (not that he's a dog or marriage is a cage, but you get it). You should really be weary of this one.

~SY

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