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age
30-35,
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writes: So I have been dating a guy, M, for like a week and a day now. I was supposed to see him on Valentine's Day and hang out at my house so he could get to know my parents better but that never happened. Why? Well I shall get into it.So the day after M and I started dating, he told me to tell my parents so we could hang out more and put it on facebook and everything. So I did. At first everyone's happy for me but knowing how bad my other ex boyfriend was; my parents decided to do checks on M and his parents. So they did this on this past Sunday. They find nothing on him other than his ex girlfriend of four years still like me; which I know. They find nothing on his father either. However, they found out a lot about his mom; that she has been arrested, M was in foster home for like a few years and that she was a stripper/pole dancer, and was divorced to the husband. They did not really care until Monday. Mainly because I told them I met M through my best friend B, who they trust way more than I, and I really don't blame them on that. Anyways, Monday comes along and they found out I drove 80 miles Sunday. They thought I was hanging with B and my other friend and looking at the mileage, they thought I went to see M. Not true. What actually happeend is I had to pick up a friend whho was intoxicated and drop him at home. Anyways, I told B that he had to tell my dad that I with him and my other friend all that night. He calls my dad; tells my dad what I told him to say. However, my dad asks him how I met M. Now, B knows I told my parents how I met him through B. B also told me like he would lie for me. Now here's where the messy part comes in; B tells the truth. That I met M while I was at the mall with him. So my dad goes live at me. Mom cmes home and goes live at me. They tell me to break up with M ( I didn't but they don't know that) and how bad his mom is. I know how bad his mom is and how they don't want him ever to be over our home; he's living with his dad and is nothing like her. I known M for like two months. But he sucks at like lying and hiding things. I got him pegged as does B and my other friend R.So my question is: is there any way I can win my parents over to at least meet M? Cause I really like M a whole lot and he likes me a lot. And I really wanna try dating him...to try to be happy. I have had other boyfriends and by far, M is the least dramatic and the least abusive one I've dated.I really want my parents to allow us to hang and everything. I just don't know what to do...Help? Any advice will do :) Thanks :D
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): If I follow you correctly, you lied to your parents about how you met M, claiming you met him through your best friend B, whom your parents "trust way more" than you. You then told B to call your parents to tell them a completely unrelated lie, during which your father asks B to corroberate your previous lie about M. Not wanting to discredit his new lie and violate your parents trust of him, B tells the truth about your previous lie about M.As a result your parents tell you to break up with M, and you don't but apparently lead them to believe you did. You concede M "sucks at like lying and hiding things," skills at which you've just demonstrated you suck at pretty bad yourself. "So my question is: is there any way I can win my parents over to at least meet M?"Not a chance, and it's your doing. You are either brazenly stupid or possessed of sheer unbridled gall to even think you can "win you parents over" to lift a pinky for you. "I have had other boyfriends and by far, M is the least dramatic and the least abusive one I've dated."Not even that stirring endorsement will sway your parents. Gee, how about a boyfriend who is NOT dramatic and NOT abusive and doesn't have to lie and doesn't have to hide things?"I really want my parents to allow us to hang and everything."They would be out of their minds to even consider it. They know they can't trust you and they know they can't trust B whom they trust way more than you, so they already have very good reason not to trust M even before he has a chance to personally show them how much he "sucks at lying and hiding things.""I just don't know what to do...Help? Any advice will do :)"Nothing you can do. You have violated your parents trust beyond reason with blatant self-serving lies of convenience even you can't keep straight. Be grateful your parents haven't chained you in the basement, you've obviously already run through a string of dramatic and abusive (your words) boyfriends and caused them much grief, they're probably just thankful they're not raising any of your kids yet (are they?) or have been called to the morgue to ID your body. On second thought, oh, what the hell. Go ahead and ask your parents if you can bring M around to hang and everything. A sharp coookie like you must have them wrapped around your little finger. And I'm sure B will vouch for you.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 So, let's sum up. You have a history of selecting 'dramatic' and 'abusive' boyfriends. You meet M at a mall and then proceed to lie to your parents about where you met him. You try to convince people to lie for you. You drive to help an intoxicated friend and lie about that. So right off the bat, your parents know that you have poor judgment and are willing not only to lie yourself but try to coerce other people into lying.
They are your parents and care for your safety and well-being. They check into the new, misrepresented boyfriend and find out that he has a mother with a criminal record, he was in foster care. He may indeed be a splendid young man but you have already begun by lying about him several times, so did you really think they would feel good about this? Their daughter has lied to them and has a history of being abused by previous boyfriends. They'd be crazy to say, "oh yeah, that's all wonderful news! Great stuff! How nice to meet the boy our daughter has lied so much to us about! Fantastic!"
Seriously?
If you want your parents to take you and the relationship seriously, stop lying to them. Acknowledge that you have a propensity to wind up with guys who hurt you. Acknowledge that they have a reason to be concerned. Arrange a meeting between him and his father and you and your parents. Give them a chance to eye up his dad and his family to see yours. Maybe his dad could call them and have a talk with them about what kind of fine young man his son is and maybe invite them to meet up for coffee.
You are where you are because you started off with a lie. Get back to telling the truth and you may have a hope for getting parental approval. I'd say that they are doing a pretty good job of trying to be parents to you.
How old are you, anyway? You don't sound like you are 18 just yet.
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