A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi - I need help in getting over this guy. I have had an on and off crush on him for ages. Some of the time I feel like he's amazing and would so be the right person for me - but then other times he just infuriates me (he doesn't deliberately do anything mean or anything like that...but I just sometimes find him, well, infuriating!) Previously I have asked for subtle tips on flirting with him but nothing has happened and I just want to stop feeling so much for him. I want to love him as a friend rather than as a crush.I keep trying to convince myself that I'm over him...but I'm not sure I am. I don't have the conviction or resolve to do it - I want to stop being in love but in a way I can't or maybe don't want to let go of the feeling...I've heard people say something along the lines of 'you are never completely over someone until you've found someone else to love' ... something like that and maybe that's the problem. Maybe I need him to think about because I don't know that many guys and I probably won't until I go off to uni (in two years).I've never told him I feel like this - I've only told a couple of my closest friends. We do get on really well though, and I'd trust him and he's funny and he smiles (and he looks gorgeous too - but I'm not shallow enough to fall for someone just because he's hot)...but he has a girlfriend, and I can't help wondering if he's a bit of a player, and can sometimes be a little unreliable (as in unorganised).Is there a way I can completely get over him without having to meet someone else - I haven't ever been in a relationship or kissed anyone or anything, ever, so I would plan on choosing a guy very carefully and would want to go slowly...so can you help me stop being so confused over him??Any help or even consolation would really really be appreciated :) Thanks x
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female
reader, boo22 +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Hi there, you sound like a very together young lady. I reckon most of the ladies on dear cupid can relate to this post. I've got some news for you girlfriend, most men regardless of how nice they are will infuriate you at some time or another,lol. That just goes along with the territory i'm afraid. Your problem is that he has a girl anyway so he's out of bounds, and you suspect he may be a playa. You're probably right. Lets hope a better crush comes round the corner for you real soon. You'll wake up one morning and you won't feel anything when you think of him. good luck x
A
female
reader, hunkydory +, writes (30 July 2009):
I know exactly where you are coming from, I have been through exactly the same thing! You should try and to see this guy as your mate. I found that telling how I felt was hard but it told me that he wants interested and just wanted to be friends, this brought me back to reality and although it was hard, my mates helped me get over him and we continued being just friends.
Dont hold all your emotions in let them out, the truth will hurt but will let you know that you have to move on.
Good luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Time my dear.. time. Think about it: in ten years, when you're out of high shcool and out of college and on with your career, do you really think you'll still be pining over him? No.. not even if you never date anyone else.
I think when people say you'll never truely be over someone, what they mean is that, you'll always care for that person. Even when you're married with kids, he'll always have a place in your heart.. afterall he meant something to you at one point, why would that care diappear? You can care for someone without being in love with him/her and without pining. You'll get there. Take care.
~Sy.
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