A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have enjoyed a fantastic relationship for the past 15 years. The problem is, we have been together for 17. The past couple years has been a little more up and down, but hopefully not something that we can't work through. It could be that arguing is so foreign to us, as the arguments we've had could be counted on one hand. We've had a decent love life as well, ranging from mind blowing to just amazing, and although the frequency has waned a little, the intensity is still wonderful, at least as far as I'm concerned. Over the past few years, some of our sex play has involved "dirty" talking, ranging from her having me and another guy at the same time, to us both fooling around with another couple. She does most of the talking,and she's pretty good at it. She knows what gets me crazy, and seems to enjoy what she's talking about.Lately her talking during sex has changed from us both taking part in some sort of "naughty" situation, to just her, either wanting to experience another man, or admitting to fooling around on me, and describing in detail the situation. Sometimes she pretends, while making love, that I'm the other man, and sometimes she just talks about a "true confession" involving her and someone else. The talk has gotten quite realistic, and she sounds so convincing, that I'm almost wondering if she's really trying to tell me something is really going on, but disguising it as just a fantasy and not real. Sometimes I wonder, as she gets quie graphic, if she really wants to do what she's talking about, or if she's just saying the things she says to "spice" up our love life.I like to think we will stay monogamous, but am now wondering if I have opened up a Pandora's Box, by letting the talk get more and more graphic and by not helping steer it back to us both taking part in the fantasy situation. I think the thing that makes it sexually exciting, is that the talk has always been opposite to my true feelings for her, which is to have her and I both faithful to each other forever. The "taboo" part of it has always seemed to make it pretty hot, but since it changed from "her and I and someone else" to just "her and someone else", I'm not sure if she's just switching it up, or if she would rather fantasize about sex without me being in the picture at all. Am I just being a little insecure? Maybe.She's also gotten a little flirty with other guys lately, and I'm thinking maybe that has also led me to wonder if the sex talk isn't going a little too far, or if it's led her to maybe want something else in real life. Hmmmm...Any thoughts are appreciated, as I have asked opinions here before, and the comments have helped me to understand and resolve issues that have come up. Thanks again and have a great day!
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (29 September 2012):
Did you ask this question as well? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-wonder-how-someone-who-says-they-love.html
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): It seems to me that your wife is just changing it up a bit. if it is really bothering you that you are no longer involved in the scenarios, approach her this way, "I find it so much hotter when....." then you go into a scenario with the two of you in it. if that doesnt work try the opposite approach and do a scenario with just you and another woman. Also, is it possible she is becoming more flirty with other men, because she thinks it would excite you?? Women arent as complicated as you men make us seem. I wish you luck with this, and I hope I was able to help!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): being paranoid? It seems to me that your wife, loves you and just wants to 'spice things up a bit' if your sex life is as good as you portray it to be, she is just wanting to turn you on more. but maybe suggest that you arent really liking the scenarios that just she is in without you. Is it possible that she is flirting to maybe get a little reaction from you to see if its actually turning you on to see her turn on another man?? On a side note, if your sex life after 17 years is as amazing as you say it is, i must say, she is one lucky woman!
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