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Is our relationship healthy?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 November 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok well I'm 14 turning 15 on January 3rd...my bf is 15 turning 16 on December 2nd...we have been going out for about a year and three months now since August 28,2007

but i want to know if I'm in a healthy relationship...i mean he loves me for who i am and everything. he is like the guy any girl would look for. and I'm just glad i found him but the thing is he lives 3 hours away from me and i can't see him soooo i really want to and hes selling his amp that he built to make money and drive out here to see me....I'm getting sick and tired of people saying I'm to young to know what love is and i wont ever find love well i have found it and its with you baby but i just want to know if its healthy please respond!!!

thanks :D

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (26 November 2008):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThere are more definitions of a healthy relationship. If you don't like this advice you can always say that I am too old to understand your situation. But at your age you should be asking some of these questions when you decide if you are in a healthy relationship.

Are you in an exclusive relationship that prevents you from learning about and having experience with other people?

Are you going to loose some important educational experiences because you will be married / pregnant at a young age?

Do you have personal life goals that this relationship could endanger?

I think that it is great for young people to have good friends and loves. But there is a time for everything. Don't give up today to get to tomorrow faster.

FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008):

Ok, I'm a bit confused here as well. What do you mean by healthy? We know he's a long distance relationship so I am assuming you two are in contact via the internet, possibly a 'messenger' of some sort, email, text messaging, phoning. Can I go out on a limb and ask...have you two met each other in real life? If you haven't, is that what you mean by this being a 'healthy' relationship? I will say, that a healthy relationship does deal with all facets of reality, so hoping here, that you two have met. aand interacted in the 'real world'.

Now, if you have met him and you see each other as much as you both can, then all you said in your posting does not deem anything 'unhealthy'. If you both are comfortable and content with each other, trust each other and respect each other, and embrace each other's individuality...something that is only achieved by spending time with each other,seeing each other and being in each other's world. So if this is the case, then yes, you do have a nice, meaningful relationship. As said by hotpinkgirl, long distance relationship can be healthy and very happy. Lots of folks do it. And I have to say, any teenage guy that is willing to sell his amp to get the funds to come see you, must be a pretty great guy.

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