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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am feeling terrible right now, possibly the worst I have ever felt. I am 27.I was going out with an amazing guy and he planned to go travelling before we got it together.I guess we were together about 6 mths but it was the best relationship I have had even tho not the longest.Everything was great and we never had a bad moment together apart from the the day when he left when we both felt very sad and emotional.Its been about 2 mths since he left. We are gonna stay in touch and guess if it is meant to work out it will.I don't think its fair tho for us to stay together as a couple when we will be thousands of miles away. I am in uk, he is currently in thailand. He has gone for about a year. We may meet along the way at some point.I lost my job recently and also found out that my flat mates are possibly moving which means I could struggle to find someone to live with! It just seems everything is tumbling in on me and I feel more upset about him going away. I haven't told him whats been going on as I don't wanna seem like a burden or whinger while he is out there enjoying himself. I also don't want to worry him.I sometimes feel that if I meant so much to him why did he go, but maybe I have only felt like this recently cause of everything else that has been going wrong.I don't know how to lift my spirits. I am feeling constantly tearful which is so unlike me.I would usually go and out and do stuff but because money is quite an issue right now I am sstruggling to do even this.Thanks for any help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your help. So if he means so much I should tell him? now doesn't seem the right time - I guess I should just see what happens and let it work itself out.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (26 November 2008):
 If this really is the best relationship you have ever had, you should grab onto it with both hands and never let go. A great relationship means that you can go to him with your problems and expect him to give you understanding and not ridicule. A one year separation is not that long. To give you hope let me say that after a 2 year+ separation I married my wife and we have been married 21 years so far.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): He went because he had to 'get out there' and experience the world, dear! And now is the time to do it, before he settles down. I am thinking, these travel plans were well thought out and in place 'before' he met you? Listen, do not upend 'his' travel experience with 'your' problems. Simple as that. You are right...dating six months does not make him your magical 'healing balm' from negative things, happening in your life. Really..what can he do if he's thousands of miles away and you have hit hard times? Nothing, absolutely nothing and I think you know that your problems that you are experiencing are yours alone. Nothing wrong with telling him, your problems but don't whine. My suggestion: if you need advice from him, it's ok to relate that to him but definitely let him know 'you' are seeking solutions on your own..to these problems. At 27, you are wonderfully independent, and you want him to enjoy his travels. He does not need to feel miserable because you are having a tough go of it, at home. I want you to do something here. I want you to "Snap out of it!" lol (Cher says that to Nick Cage in 'Moonstruck', if I recall correctly) Anyways...be strong and get yourself out of this fix. Call in some emotional support from other friends and your family, if you have to but get going, hun. Get out there and start looking for a new job! And don't stop until you find one. Smile, be gracious and positive to every potential hiring manager you meet. A positive attitude will get you further than misery. Guarunteed, in a few weeks, life will brighten up for you. And your self-worth will soar again as you did something, all on your own. But nothing will happen if you don't get out there and try. Good luck, and I'm with ya all the way. Take care!! xx
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