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Is Oral sex considered losing your virginity ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2014)
A female , anonymous writes:

Is Oral sex considered losing your virginity?

Me and my Boyfriend have been together for a few years and still haven't done it. I want to save my virginity for my husband on my wedding night rather it ends up being the guy I'm with or not. I love my bf and we really enjoy pleasing each other and doing romantic things to get close to each other, but how close is too close? I don't want to have oral sex and then feel like I've givin up something that was meant to be saved. I'm no angel and haven't been completely pure, but I still have a lot of things to give and want to give a lot of special things when I'm married but at the same time I want to enjoy my relationship with my guy and experience some nice things.

Any advice would be soooooo -great! Also any advice on oral sex itself would really help!

View related questions: oral sex, wedding, wedding night

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A male reader, SuperDan United States +, writes (9 June 2014):

Here's the way I see it:

Oral sex does NOT count toward losing your virginity. It's a sexual act, but it's not sex itself. Dry humping is also a sexual act and few consider that to be sex itself (if it were, nobody that would walk into a dance club would walk out a virgin lol).

Here's the thing though; often times, fellatio/oral sex/a blowjob LEADS to the act of intercourse. Not always, but it's an easy transition. So people tend to group the two things together. I see oral as the maximum form of foreplay, which is not having sex and is not losing your virginity. Sexual intercourse would be the one that counts toward this because it's the furthest form of sexual activity you can go toward, the "main event" if you will.

Also, contrary to popular belief, the risk of STDs via oral are actually extremely small. Still, it's always best to be sure you and your boyfriend are both in healthy condition before engaging in such activity.

The question I believe you should ask yourself is what are the limits you wish to set for yourself at this point? How far are you willing to go right now? Do you see this as a "practice" form of sex, a way of easing your way into it so it doesn't seem like too much at once when you decide you're ready for intercourse?

But to answer your original question, yes, you are still a virgin.

(I realize this question is many years old as of me writing this, so your situation may be entirely different at this point, but I just thought I'd give my two cents. Be well!)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

I strongly belive in God. For my 15th birthday, I got a purity ring, this not meaning that I have commited to God that I will remain pure until my wedding day.

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and I love him like you wouldn't belive. Sometimes it seems EXTREMLY hard to wait. I want to go futher so bad, but yet, there is that part of me that just won't let me.

My boyfriend asked me ahwile back if I felt that Oral was sex.. and I said yes. So we have decided to wait. It is EXTREMLY hard, but I know that if I try I can do it.. so we just keep ourselves "entertained" by foreplay.. such as him fingering me and extreme make out sessions... you know how that goes.

I think you can do it if you set your mind to it, and I wish you the best of luck!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007):

My fiancee had given oral before and I don't consider her a virgin, though she does. It depends on who you ask. Your husband in the future might feel one way or another, but I would say don't take at face value the advice of people who say "oral is def not a loss of virginity."

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007):

I'm glad there's still women strong enough out there to go for what they believe in rather than what things all around us today show us what we SHOULD do.

i think it's good your waiting for a special someone (:

best of luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

Having oral sex would not be considered loosing your virginity.

I think oral sex is very intimate, in some ways it is more intimate than having pentrative sex.

I think it is a choice you have to make, but personally, I think if you are saving yourself to marriage then you might as well save yourself oral-sex wise too. You mention purity, virginity is also associated with purity and innocent and I think oral sex certain puts you on that other line between innocent and ... not-so-innocent. I guess it is something you will know best. It's very sweet you want to save your virginity for your future husband. I guess you should try and imagine being with him and having already had oral sex and then being with him and not having had oral sex. It's good you are looking to the future rather than living in the now. All the best :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

high praise for you miss,

its nice to see there are still young women these days that want to save themselves for the right man than just loosing it for the sake of it.

oral sex isnt loosing your virgininty no, but its still a very intimate act between two people so make sure you love him first, secondly you can still contract some deseases through oral so be carefull.

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