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Together 9 months, really love him, but hes really stressed and so on so I hardly see him, what Can I do ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *zabelle writes:

I met my boyfriend 9 months ago. He was very serious with me from the start, as I was with him. I wasn't looking for a relationship as I had just come out of one but nevertheless we were together. I fell for him really hard and I have never felt about anybody the way I feel about him. Just recently his business went into liquidation and he has become very depressed. I never see him anymore, he wont answer his phone, he rarely responds to my texts and now tells me that he doesn't want a serious relationship and that we should take things slowly. I asked if he still wanted to be with me and he said of course I love you! My family and friends say I should just leave him, but I can't. I remember the good times and want them back.

My family are not happy with him though as recently my ex tried to hurt me and my boyfriend does not seem bothered. I have supported him through his problems and have tried so hard yet he still pushes me away. When I needed his help and support he did nothing. Normally I would just walk away and never see a person like this again, but I just feel that he can't help me becasuse he is to upset with his life right now, but what if I am wrong? What if he doesn't care about me anymore? I don't know what to do. I have so many things to deal with right now that I feel like I am going insane.

View related questions: depressed, I love you, my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

Reading your question made me feel I can easily relate to your situation. Like you, my friends and family have told me to leave my boyfriend after he told me he wanted to end it but was still saying he loved me and missed me and generally messing me around. I do think for now you should try and be supportive of your boyfriend but at the same time let him deal with the situation on his own. Make it known that you are there for him but let him come to you. Possibly even take a break for a short while, while he sorts this aspect of his life out. Most probably when it is sorted he will realise how badly he has treated you and apologise for the way he has acted. If this is still happening in a few months time, maybe you stop all contact with him but realise that you did do all you could to make the relationship work. As for the good times you miss, i understand completely. But just remember if things dont work out you will have even more good things to look forward to in your next relationship. Hope i was of some help xxx

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A female reader, Pretty and proud United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

Pretty and proud agony aunti know all the thoughts going through your head at the moment. Men hate to be helped by women its just a natural thing. all you can do is lett him know you are there for him whenever he needs you and when he's cheered up a bit he will see sense andbe the way he used to be.

just remember time is the best healer. hope i helped xxx

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