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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have just come from a long term relationship of two years. I got over it but ran into a old friend and his new girlfriend, who took pity and bought me a couple beers. This other women was fantastic, good looking, smart and had a good sense of humour. I asked my friend where he met her, and said on a on line dating site. He gave me the details. She replied basically the same way. Of course I got real excited about this. Cupid I am afraid of going on line and starting the process. Is it really safe? Are there predators and other people waiting to pounce? Is what happened to my friend just luck, as the boys would sometimes say? Are these people on line sincere and genuine? Can this be true or am I dreaming? Somebody help me please....... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2013): Hi there!
I met my true love in pay site. I bless God for letting people have dating site. It give you huge number of candidate to choose from!
There are risk, but driving a car is 1000 time more risky!
Forget about the risk. Pay some dollars per month and you will get the best return on any dollar you spend.
Just meeting other people from the other gender will be the first reward.
What you are waiting for? Take out your credit card - register to the most popular pay sire and begin to enjoy your life!
Wish you the best!
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (23 March 2013):
Dear OP,
I agree with you - go to the pay sites. I don't know about the american sites, but in my experience, going for the more expensive sites is the best option. Quality has its price. The free sites are the place where you will find dodgy people.
If you feel ready to settle down, go to a serious dating site. This is not a major life decision, though, if you find out that you're still not ready for dating and settling down, you might have invested some money on the wrong project, but at least you gave it a try. There is the possibility to try the sites for free and get an impression and you can also make a short time membership (1 month) if you just want to try it out.
Online dating costs money, but I always tell myself that if I find someone to be with in the end, it was really worth it.
About your problems with transitioning from looking for sex to looking for a long term partner.. you're not alone. Many guys have these troubles. You know, I've met people on sex sites that were secretly looking for romance. And people on serious dating sites that suggested an affair and were afraid of commitment. It's not like you're the only one trying to figure out what's the best balance between love and sex, freedom and commitment.. So give yourself some time. You're not emotionally immature, you're just experiencing the same thing that almost every man I met has experienced or is just experiencing right now. That sometimes doesn't stop, even if the man is in his forties.
My advice though: Don't wait too long to try and commit to someone. If you find a special person, don't let her go just like that, by hoping to find even better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for open and honest direction on this matter. I am kind of torn about going on the free sites because I believe I am ready to settle down and should go to the pay sites. I don't want just sex in relationships because I guess I can be called a hopeless romantic in a good way. And I admit I am a little emotionally in mature and had trouble transitioning from just having sex and then trying to turn the switch into looking for a partner and potential life mate. If you could provide a little more guidance on what I should do it would be greatly appreciated. Again thank-you.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29 +, writes (23 March 2013):
Dear OP,
I'm kind of a long-term online dater and so far, I've never had a really dangerous situation or anything like that.
But it's a weird social experiment sometimes, because you meet people that you would never meet, otherwise. So there are different stories, expectations and even though you can learn something out of every date, it can be a long and very disappointing process to meet all these strangers in order to find a partner.
So, you just need to be prepared that it maybe won't be too easy. Anyway, I know several couples who met online and are happy, so it was worth it in the end.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (22 March 2013):
Let’s take a balanced look at some of the common points made in support and criticism of on-line dating, and you can make up your own mind:
1) People might not be sincere: Well yes that’s true, they might. But, apart from faking the picture, all the other deceptions people might use on-line could be used in the real world too. You could meet a woman in a club or at a social event and she could tell you she’s childless and single when she’s married with kids. Some people aren’t honest, but meeting some-one on-line’s as much of a risk as meeting some-one in the real world in that respect. Most people, however, are genuine like you, your friend and this girl.
2) It’s dangerous: You have to follow some common sense precautions. Don’t publish personal information, and meet for your first few dates in a public place and tell some-one where you’re going. Again wouldn’t it be equally sensible to use those precautions if the date were arranged off-line with some-one you didn’t already know?
3) People that go on sites are either desperate, screwed up or in some other way bad news: It’s a totally unfounded claim. Perhaps people do go on sites because they’re shy and you can, on a good one, get to know a bit about the person before you meet. Perhaps they’ve had a run of bad luck and are broadening beyond their current social circle, or perhaps they’re trying to isolate a particular kind of partner. For example they might use a dating site to focus on people looking for similar, for example a long-term relationship, or a casual encounter.
Whatever the reasons, it doesn’t mean they’re going to be any more or less suitable relationship material because they happen to have used a site. People like your friend give it a go, people like you join on-line sites all the time.
I wish you all the very best.
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