A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my ex boyfriend, and I always knew that the feelings I have towards him were different than everyone else.We went out for a year, but then we broke up because he moved. He lives hours away now, and we didn't talk for over a year. During the time we were broken apart and not speaking to each other I got in a relationship with someone else. Then finally, after over a year I got in contact with my ex. I knew that my feelings for him still existed, and I wasn't even close to over him. I never told my current boyfriend this , though. I couldn't take it anymore so I confessed to my ex that I loved him, and that I thought that he was the 'one'. He was relieved as well, because he felt the exact same way. We knew we couldn't be together at the moment because first of all we are both in a relationship, and also the distance is too great.What I'm scared of though is breaking it up with my current boyfriend. I've tried to before, but he ended up hurting himself so I'm really scared. I love my ex so much, and I just don't know what to do. We talk a lot and have gotten really close since we became in contact. He knows we can't be together right now either, and we both hope we can get back together in the future. I just don't know what to do about this situation. And how can I break it up with my boyfriend without him hurting himself? Please help me.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 September 2008):
You cannot stay with someone just because they threaten to hurt themselves.
Tell him you just love him as a friend... if he makes a fuss or threats to do something stupid then stay with him but make it clear you are only there so he won't harm himself.
Don't go out with him very much. Be minimal when you talk to him, NEVER tell him you love him, or be physical with him and tell other people that you are in the process of breaking up.
After a week he will see that he cannot emotionally blackmail you and will accept that it is over.
Then you will be free to do what you want, whether that is waiting for your ex or anything else.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, teencitizen92  +, writes (19 September 2008):
you should never stay with someone just because they are going to hurt themselves so you need to sit down and break things off. and tell him that if he plans to hurt himself you will tell somebody because just because your ending it doesnt mean you dont care. and with your ex i had one with the same problem he moved five states away and wed been toghether for a year and a half but when he moved we still made it work for another year because our love was that true. and yours can be too hun. we did split but that was because i was scared of commentmint but its two years later now..and hes sitting next to me rite now...good luck. true love always finds a way.
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A
female
reader, larni1 +, writes (19 September 2008):
Well first of all you said you dont no if you could b with your ex cause of the distance. So i would waite until your sure you can b with ur ex b4 trying 2 break up with your current partner. But it sounds to me that this is just not the only reason u want to break up with your current partner, its sounds like you would still want to break up with him even if you dont get back with your ex. But when u do decide to break it of with him then u just hav to tell him straight, there is no easy way 2 do it. i no ur worried about him harming himself but ur not responsible for what ever he doese to himself. All i can suggest is u let him down as gently as possible by saying its not gonna work between you both but we can still be frens. an tell him u can still be there if he needs anyone to talk to.
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