A
female
age
51-59,
*ELWYNNE
writes:I would have been married for 28 years. Last year Feb 2010 my husband walked out on me. We had been having problems but i did not expect him to go. Two months later his ex girlfriend of 30 years ago moved in with him with her adopted son. She has never been married. I was heartbroken.I think they were having an affair for a long time but he did not know how to tell me. I have four children my eldest daughter who is now 22 years old also decided to leave me and move in with her dad.I have been very fair to him by letting him see the two youngests who are 10 and 14 when ever he wants, in the begining it was so hard having this other women come into their lives. I have now meet another man who is very caring and loving which i never had in my marriage he worries about me all the time because i suffer from depression and he is affraid i might do something because i did try when my husband left me. I am in such a bad place at the moment because i run my own business and it is not doing so well, my ex gives me just enough to pay the morgage om my home. But i have to find extra for looking after the kids and the bills. He tells me i must be gratefull for what he gives me because he really does not have to give me anything because of the way we were married ANC . His business is doing very well. But i seem to be going nowhere now my children want to go and live with him aswell, because he has money and he spoils them so much. I feel so sad that my children feel nothing for me that they would leave just because he can take them on lovely holidays i dont have money at the moment so i work 24/7 with my business. My ex got money back from his insurance he phoned me and said he would give the money to me to help me out of my debt last month, well when did not receive it in a round about way i asked him. His reply was sorry i have alot of expenses at the moment because he has just moved into a new house , he will see what he can do.After all the things that he has put me through i wish i had tried harder in my marriage maybe he would not have left me.My daughter gets cross with me and tells me i must get over what has happened to me life goes on and that i have a man that cares about me. She thinks i am not very grateful for what i have. Is she right ?
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affair, debt, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, his ex, money, moved in, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 I think you're in a rough part of your life and it's hard to appreciate what you have. It's true that you should be grateful for what you have, but you've also lost a whole heck of a lot recently, and it's perfectly acceptable to mourn that.
A
female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (14 April 2011):
Wow, this is all really complicated. Since you are alone now, my suggestion is to concentrate on your business or sell it. Let the two younger sons go live with their dad. Did his girlfriend of long ago expect to "inherit" his former family? This may change things in your ex's life. Now, as far as being grateful, try to give thanks daily for what you do have. Is your health good? Do you still have your looks? There must be something special about you to attract another man. Give thanks for all this. Let the Past be - you cannot change it. There is no reason to keep a business today if it is not doing well and if it will put you in the Poor House. You must have the smarts - so go out and find something that will bring in money weekly to support yourself. Please do not let your ex know anything about your life or finances. Be thankful that your daughter cared enough about you to talk frank with you and give you some good advice on gratitude. Pretty savvy for a 22 year old. You did a good job with her, Mother. Be grateful for this!
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