A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So i've been with this super great guy for a year now -- and i had feelings that he maybe is losing intrust in me due to me being super clingy. I do know that i have been some what clingy buy not to the degree that he and my friends have stated. I truely love him and don't want to chase him away. We have talked and said that we are ok and i trust he and have no reason not to other than he is more distant than what he use to be. He does call me on some of his breaks at work and lets me know that he loves me; he still does things to show me he cares, but he always use to open my car door for me every single time rain, snow, tight hole between cars and more resently he slowed down on openning every time and even appologies some of the times for it. The sex is still super great he makes sure of that. So that is where my confusion really comes in at is that he says we are great but he is so distant???I believe everything is due to me being so clingy. Can anyone offer any great suggestions??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): that is part of the problem i don't know why i am being cliny most i am guessing its due to always wanting to spend every free min together or talk during the day or always saying i love you and looking for his reply to that.
As far as his distances it is some what a change over from the lovie dove phase but no not that it is more i just will try to have a serious conversation with him and he won't wanna talk about it in a serious manner or when he talks about the future he doesn't talk about it as us but always his plans for it -- and when i question him he replies that i will be there if i choose to be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): How is he being distant exactly, can you give some examples? Please don't say that its because he does romantic things for you less than he used to. That's normal in any long term relationship and as time goes by romantic gestures/rituals are naturally going to become less frequent. Thats not "acting distant" behavior in my opinion.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (16 May 2010):
By your own admission, you are "super clingy" and "everything is due to" that. So obviously you need to stop being clingy, but also you need to figure out why you're being clingy. What specific things do you do that would be characterized as clingy? What causes you to do those things? How can you anticipate those things, and refrain from doing them? What are some things you can do that might be seen as the OPPOSITE of clingy?
In my experience, clinginess on the part of either person drives the other away, and being independent and self-assured increases attraction.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): Sometimes others can see what's happening when we can't. That's why your friends and boyfriend are telling you that you are being very clingy. They can see that you are being clingy and believe me no-one wants to be with someone who is clingy because that kind of behaviour is suffocating to the recipient and unhealthy for the clinger. Maybe your boyfriend has pulled back a little bit to help you to see how clingy you are? Or else he has become distant because your clingy behaviour is driving him away? Whatever, you need to address your behaviour NOW before it ruins everything.
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A
female
reader, ShannShann  +, writes (16 May 2010):
Best suggestion relax don't bumbared him remember what you used to be like when you first started to date. And try and be that person again. No offense but normally when people tell you, your being clingy you don't relisease how clingy you have actually been until you have finished with that person. But if he has said it he obv thinks you are so try and relax around him more rather than texting him and worrying why he hasn't texted back or calling him all the time. Just relax and enjoy every second of the moments you both spend together but as for the sex thing try and test him when he wants to have sex tell him no and see how he reacts. Hope I helped. S'f :)
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