A
female
age
41-50,
*outhern Girl
writes:Is my boyfriend over his ex? We've been together over a year, living together for 6 months, but he is still in contact with her through texts, email, and occasionally phone (She lives in another country). Thing that bothers me is he hasn't told her about me and doesn't want to. He isn't very open about when he's in contact with her either.
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female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 I'd say he's not over his ex yet and like someone else mentioned, he's keeping his options open, that's why he hasn't told her he has a girlfriend now. God forbid, she might stop contacting him then. There's a few things you should consider. #1 How he treats you around his friends, family etc. #2 If he's told you he loves you. #3 Did she break up with him? If so, then that could be a sign of him holding out some kind of hope that they could get back together. If he treats you well in other situations and has told you he loves you, then I think it's time you sit him down and tell him that he needs to make a choice because as long as he's in communication with her now and then, it appears to be a threat to your relationship and it's causing you to mistrust him. If he hasn't said he loves you yet, then it might just be too soon for you to push him, even if you are living together. You could mention that it makes you uncomfortable, but I wouldn't push at this point until he says he loves you, and indicates that you two have a future together. Then it's time he pulls the plug and let go of the ex. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (17 September 2007):
Sounds like he's trying to keep his options open with her. Not much of a bf you have there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): He may be waiting for the day when she comes back to his country so he can be with her again. Until then he's filling his time with you. Ask him if this is the case. It isn't acceptable for him to be in contact with her and not telling her about you. Why are you letting this go on?
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