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Is it wrong if I throw away my boyfriends' divorce papers?

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

When cleaning house, I came upon my boyfriends divorce papers. Is it wrong if I throw the divorce papers away myself?

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A female reader, Justmealone United States +, writes (1 June 2008):

In my state, to remarry, you need to show proof of divorce, so do NOT throw them out.

To me it's silly to even be concerned about what he keeps. Everyone has a past and there's things they keep, etc.

My spouse has pictures of his ex wife and I don't feel a bit jealous or the need for him to get rid of them. Now on the other hand, my ex's wife made him throw out everything about me, which I could care less about AND our children ! They weren't allowed to talk to their dad about when they lived together, etc....

And now guess what? He has nothing about the kids and she walked out and left him, lol....

Everyone has a past and everyone has a right to hang onto what they want of it and it's not for anyone else to say or decide for them, so get out of his stuff and let him be.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

Here I go again. So sorry, of course it's not jealously or any of those stupid reasons I was thinking. You were helping out and didn't know if you should keep them or not because of bureacratic reason. Wish I could have been more help or kept my big mouth shut.

Thanks for the update, It's good to know things have worked out for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just wanted to thank everyone for answering my question. I suppose that I was more concerned about what the divorce papers would be needed for rather than if I should throw them away which I have not and will not throw them away myself.

They do not bother me and could easily be tucked away until a later date (as you some of you have suggested). DiovanLestat-This was not about jealosy or locking him away or revenge in the least bit.

Thanks Again Everyone!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

Yes it's wrong. What you gonna do next, tear up the pictures of his family and lock him up so he can't talk to another human being.

Tell him what you've done and give him you teenage diary full of love for your teacher/boyfriend/cousin brother, so he can publish it in the newspaper and get some revenge.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (31 May 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIt is a very important document when you want to deal with bureaucracy or officialdom.

Someday he maybe required to prove his marital status.

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2008):

Jamer70 agony auntYou shouldnt throw away other people documents no matter how important you think they are to him.

They were his documents and may have been important as he may need them in the future.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (30 May 2008):

Danielepew agony auntPoster, it seems you're worried whether his keeping the papers or not removing them from your sight might mean "something else". I wouldn't expect that to be the case after ten years.

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntWhether or not they might be needed, you shouldn't throw them away.

Everyone needs to keep a little bit of their past - even if it's "bad" past. And everyone needs a bit of their own "space" with their individual history, good or bad. It may be that he does decide not to keep those papers, but it's really his decision not yours. If he is taking so long to go through the papers then it may well be that he is uncomfortable doing it. It's even possible that he wants to keep them and is nervous that you might not be happy with that. So file them away somewhere in the bottom of a drawer out of the way and tell him where they are. Just suggest to him that he goes through them when he has time and throws away anything he doesn't want.

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A female reader, bday121 United States +, writes (30 May 2008):

bday121 agony auntThey might be needed for something, anything. Don't throw away important documents like that! Maybe you can ask him to put them somewhere safe and out-of-sight? That way you won't keep coming across them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, I didn't ask him about them specifically but I made a small pile of papers and asked him to go through them and throw away what is trash. This little pile has been sitting for 2 weeks. I just feel awkward? Any ideas on what they would be needed for? He has been divorced for about 10 years.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

yes their his papers not youres!

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (30 May 2008):

Danielepew agony auntDefinitely, yes. These are documents he might need to have handy. And they are his documents. If you found them while cleaning, it's obvious they were tossed away somewhere; that is, they are unimportant to him, but he is aware he might need them.

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