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Is it weird I don't want a guys night out? My buddies are upset when my wife comes out with me!

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 September 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2007)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Is it weird i don't want a guys night out? I'm 24 and married. I'm a very social guy and prefer group dates and parties and just generally any situation that involves a lot of people.

My friends that I have from before meeting my wife will sometimes want to go somewhere with me, but don't want her to come. It puts me in a position where I don't really know why it would matter with her there, I've been with her for 4 years. If I'm just going to the store with my buddy for awhile and my wife isn't doing anything better, she'll ask to come. It's weird for me to go to a strip club with buddy's and without her so I've brought her with me if I do go.

None of my friends have any relationships with women. It seems they'll have secret plans to get me out of the house alone, but something will happen they didn't expect and are upset once she comes with me. Is this too much for my single friends? I really don't want the guys night out, they do. Is that wrong?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

my partner is the same as you,he`d rather be with me than a lads nite out,or he`d want me to be there as im also his mate

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

You sound like a breath of fresh air.Keep it up, I am sure your wife just loves being with you and visversa. You both love each other and should spend the time together. If they want to go out in male packs then let them, they are missing out in the long run.

take care

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

I never want to go out without my husband either. I think it is love and respect and maybe a little dependancy thing. You love being with your wife, so you want her to be with you. I don't think you should be going to strip joints, because you're married. If you were single that would be different but I am sure something in your wife has a problem with you going to those places, even if you bring her along. That said, if your buddies want to go hang out with you without your wife, I don't see a problem with it once in a while. If you don't go solo once in a while the invitations from your buddies will probably stop eventually. Why don't you try to find a healthy balance so that you keep your friends and your wife happy? You may realize that a little time apart makes you realize how much you appreciate your wife when you come home to her. Why don't you try arranging a guy's night out? Get a poker game together or get together to watch a game of football? Do it for them so that they know you still value their friendships.

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A female reader, brokenshadow United States +, writes (19 September 2007):

brokenshadow agony auntDo you know how many women would love for their man to be the same as you. Well, it's normal for the guys to act that way since they are single, they may be the same when their not single. You're married now, they'll just have to accept it. I guess you're just lucky to such a great relationship. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

its wonderfull you love her so much! shes a very lucky lady

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A female reader, On Cloud9 United Kingdom +, writes (19 September 2007):

On Cloud9 agony auntIt is equally normal for you to want to go out with your wife and socialise in groups rather than a lads night out as it is normal to have the odd night out with your mates withour her. At the end of the day it is your life and you do whatever you want, whatever feels right for you. That way you can't approach yourself later on in life for not doing what you wanted. There is no right of wrong answer here.

What is worth considering is your mates are single and are enjoying the single life, but thats not a lifestyle that you want/have to be part of anymore. I can guarantee you that the minute they settle down with a woman, you will see less of them anyway and they will not what to lead this lifetysle either.

There is no reason why you can't have both your friends and a great relationship with your wife. It is a matter of striking the balance really. Personally I would suggest maintaining relationship with your friends but rather than drinking, perhaps making a night for your all to go out for a game of pool or something. After all you may need to rely on your friends some day.

I wish you all the best.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (19 September 2007):

flower girl agony auntIt's not wrong that you do not want to do the guys night out thing if thats what you chose, but i do feel if your unmarried friends want to go out and invite you, just the lads then you should respect that and not take your wife or don't go out.

Very difficult for blokes to pull if they have a women out with them as other women might see her as a threat or be to scared to approach one of the guys just in case it's the womens partner.

Take care.xx.

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