A
female
age
51-59,
*unsetoversound
writes:Together for 15 years, married for 14. We have two children 11 and 7. Husband lost his mind when his mom passed away three years ago, and step-dad passed away six months after his mom.First, he sided w/ his step-bros. instead of his wife. Shortly after this he started acting strange; hiding in his bldg. on the cell phone, saying hateful things to me (which was out of character for him). He would drive to his mom and dad's home (9 1/2 hours away) like every month and a half. He would not let me go. He said he and his step-bros. needed to take care of some things at the estate.This went on for about seven months and after that, he said he wasn't "in love" w/ me anymore and we were just too different. He said he needed time to sort things out. (This was in June 07).We didn't talk much because we were both mad. In Sept. I decided to swallow my pride and go by his apt. and tell him I wanted my family back. He came out to the car to talk to me and I was crying and told him I wanted him back. He said he had a lot of problems right now and didn't want to be like his parents and break up and get back together and break up again. I asked him if there was someone else and he kept saying no. So w/ him telling me he pretty much didn't want me, I went home in tears.Two months later he showed up on my doorstep and told me he wanted his family back.Did I mention he thought the sell of the estate would bring in big $$$. He was really blowing through some $$ during this time. He kept having to borrow $$ from ppl. because the estate didn't sell as quickly as they thought it would. A week before he came here telling me he wanted his family back, he was asking if we could borrow $$ against the house so he could survive financially. I told him no.After two weeks of talking he moved back in. He still swore to me there was no one else. A month later I found out different. I was able to get into his email acct. and two days before he asked me to borrow $$ against the house, he was asking her when she was going to leave her husband for him. She told him even if her mom was to help her, she couldn't do it financially. Since he's been back he has really made lots of changes. But is it too little too late? I love this man. He is the father of my children. The man I had planned my life w/. But I look at him now and all I see is a man who left his family for a married .....And only came back home, because it didn't work out like he hoped it would. (THe estate to sell and the two of them live happily ever after).I'm pretty sure I'm right on the money, but he says that's not the way it happened. But when I ask him to tell me how it was he says you're going to believe what you want anyway.My question, do you think I should try counseling or do you think after everything that's happened, it's too late?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Hi
You're brave! Could try counselling, but that requires honesty, and it doesn't sound much like your guy has the ability to muster up any?
I reakon you should trust your instincts. Some of us have good ones. We just dont always trust them.
C xxxxxx
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