A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for over a month and I know that isn't long but I really love her. She kissed her ex and on another day he showed himself to her (down below) now I'm wary that more happened, I mean I do have trust issues anyway through past relationships but I confronted her and all I got was it was nothing more, I'm making it more of a problem than it is and if I don't trust her then I shouldn't be with her. Is this a sign that something more happened or should I just let it lie and forget about it?
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female
reader, xxaziexx +, writes (26 November 2008):
 if you have trust issues because of past relationships it was very unfair of her to tamper with this.
if you dont think she's trust worthy then break it off, but if you think you can give her another chance then do : ) but ONE chance and make sure she knows this.
good luck
A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 About the trust issue. If there is no reason to suspect her and its paranoia for no reason, that's a trust issue.
This sounds like an issue if she is worthy of being trusted. Tell her that if she can't stay away from ex's or other boys, that you need to move on. Scare her into behaving properly! Don't accept such disrespectful behavior otherwise she will continue to behave like this.
Ask her if she is with you or not. If not, tell her you are not interested in her. If she says she loves you blah blah blah.... but does this again. Cut her loose and let her suffer having lost you. This is not a girl who is worthy of your trust and you deserve to be with a girl who is devoted to you and doesn't play such stupid games.
She sounds too young to be in a relationship. So, teach her now what the consequences are if she can't act loving and decent to a man who loves her.
Give her one last chance and if she messes up, look for a girl who isn't as immature as she is. Otherwise you are going to have more problems and have a lot of heartache.
Or, you can just cut if off now and let her cry over you while you find a nice girl!
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Dear Poster
I think you have reason to be concerned and suggest you talk to her about this; I do not think it is normal behavior for a person to just expose his genitals to another for no reason; NO, I am afraid this girl is not being totally honest to you (and or the guy who did it is not normal and is a danger to her and to society); but then she has some real problems too; why did she kiss him? No, I would also be concerned.
Talk to her, but I have to warn you be careful; to me there is red lights flashing; venture into this relationship very carefully; honesty and trust are two very important things in a relationship.
Best wishes and lots of smiles.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 No, you're not making it more of a problem than it is. Don't just forget it. Suppose it had been you who kissed your ex, and your ex who showed you her body "down below". What would your girl be saying at this time?
Not only are you not making this more of a problem than it is: you're doing the exact opposite. You love the girl and want to be with her, and so you're willing to forget provided it doesn't happen again. You have no way to know whether it will happen again, however, and you know it. I don't know what happened, but, if anything else happened, do you think she would tell you? If your answer is no, you're very, very probably right.
How many women let a man that is of no interest to them show them their private parts? How many women in love let another man kiss them?
Frankly, I would leave her. If she's with you, she's either with you, full time, or not.
Or, do the test: kiss another girl and let her show you her private parts. Then tell her it's "nothing more than that and she's making it more of a problem than it is".
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