A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible for withdrawal to work as birth control? I know it's not supposed to work. I'd like to have a baby. The problem is my bf isn't sure, so when we have sex he shoots his sperm on my stomach. I am secretly hoping to get pregnant but nothing so far. This has been going on for a year and a half. Does this method work for some people? Is he pulling out in time or could there be something wrong with me? Shouldn't I have gotten pregnant by now?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (24 June 2008):
 Withdrawal is an unreliable method of birth control but it does reduce the chance of it.
But I would advice against trying to get pregnant if not both of you are ready for it unless you are want to become a single mother.
Mind you, if he is not certain he should really be using a condom. That he does not in a way makes it even more likely that he will run if you do get pregnant because he is NOT taking his responsibility now.
Considering both your actions, are either of you actually mature enough to have sex/a baby?
You still have decades to become a mother, whats the rush?
A
female
reader, Annalisa  + ♥, writes (24 June 2008):
 In today's society, we've become so hooked on lust that we want sex without the danger of pregnancy. Also, many people having sex are so young or ignorant on the subject, that people working in Family Planning just tell them to use contraception all the time.
In reality, your body only opens up to the opportunity to get pregnant when it is fully fertile and during your period: in other words, the rest of the time your cervix is closed, therefore sperm can't get anywhere near the egg!
Now, first of all, neither of you seem ready to deal with raising a family: if you were, you would respect your partner enough to talk things through with him, deal with contraception together and accept the fact that he does not feel ready to be a father.
Him being vague about contraception just proves he is too immature to be one, surely.
Second, find a family planning clinic that teaches the Billings Method. You can find out details on the internet.
It's a natural method, it teaches you about how your body works, you can use it for conception as much as contraception and you have to be in it together.
Most of all, children are not toys and they deserve a real, honest and supportive family around them:
I suggest you think about that, before you try to get pregnant.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Oh he knows I want one and he knows I'm not on birth control.I wouldn't say it's sneaking around exactly. He may underestimate how much I want this. He's just nervous about the idea of it. That's why he doesn't finish inside me. He's assuming the risk here. I was ok with him pulling out because I figured it would fail eventually. Now I'm wondering if something could be wrong or if withdrawal is more effective than advertised.
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A
female
reader, scrazy +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Pulling out isn't the best birth control, you can still get pregnant from pre-cum or as my sex ed. teacher said "Those suckers can swim."
Best protection is birth control (even though you can get pregnant while taking birth control) and a condom.
But if you're trying to get pregnant, then pulling out does decrease your chances - you shouldn't be trying to get pregnant while your boyfriend's still unsure though, that's just a bad situation waiting to happen.
And you're young, you do know that having a child is a full-time responsibility and you've got about 30 more years to have children right?
You should respect your boyfriend's wishes, if he doesn't want a child then maybe you need to talk to him and see where he's coming from. Getting pregnant will not strengthen your relationship, even though he'll be the father; it'll just cause a lack of trust and there will be problems that you could've avoided.
Take care
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 If your boyfriend isn't sure about having a baby, then it's a bit rotten of you to go about trying to have one anyway. If he isn't ready, how do you know how he'll react if you /do/ get pregnant? Sneaking about isn't a good way to strengthen a relationship.
If he comes inside of you, under normal, unprotected circumstances, your odds of getting pregnant are about 8 in 100. Since he doesn't, your odds are probably reduced a fair bit, although you can still become pregnant from pre-cum.
But as I said, it's not good to try and get pregnant without your boyfriend knowing. If he isn't sure, then you should respect his wishes.
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