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Is it normal to be attracted to older men?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 24 September 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, *adiolay writes:

I'm 18, and for as early as I could remember I've been attracted to older men (40-50). Maybe because of their masculinity and overall maturity. My dad recently told me if he found out I was seeing a man in that age group, he wouldn't approve of it. For the record, I have a healthy relationship with my father. So my attraction is not based on me seeking a father figure. My question is, Is it normal? Because of it, it's the reason why I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not attracted to men in my age group.

View related questions: never had a boyfriend, older men

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A female reader, swordandredrose United States +, writes (24 September 2010):

You are just like me!

I can't like guys in my age group either. I am in college now and there are lots of very cute guys here but I just don't get attracted to them. I think that is pretty normal. I thought there was something wrong with me at the beginning but then I talked to a psychologist and she said that it's absolutely normal. I find men in their 40s and 50s really attractive and everyone thinks that I am crazy. I guess people who are like us are just attracted to older men's personality. For me, face and age is not important. What I find in older men that I can't find in young guys is their maturity, stability and experience. Guys in our age group do not have that.

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A female reader, maria14r United States +, writes (24 September 2010):

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to older men. I find my self attracted to older men as well. In fact my bf is 8 years older than me. But yes I have been attracted to men in their 40s and 50s. Anyways age is jus a number isn't it? Its all up to u girl! No one can choose who u go out with. No matter how old he is

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A female reader, radiolay Canada +, writes (24 September 2010):

radiolay is verified as being by the original poster of the question

radiolay agony auntTrue, I don't think I could bear living without the love of my life.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (24 September 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntI can understand that, as girls tend to mature faster.

That is a good point about an older guy dying before you.

I know that this is selfish of me, but if I were to get married I hope that I would die first. I don't want to die, but it's inevitable and I would want my husband to outlive me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010):

I found myself thinking the same way you did. In fact, I'm still into men older than myself. My boyfriend is almost 6 years older. When I was younger, however, I always found myself attracted to much older men...& I also had a very normal & healthy relationship with my father.

The people that knew about my attraction believed that these feelings were related to the fact that I was mature for my age and seeked mature men that I felt were "more at my level". I always found guys my own age were too "immature" and "unstable". I'm not saying it's true, it's just how I felt. Perhaps this is how you feel.

I don't think there's anything unusual with this to be honest with you. :) Maybe as you move on to university & such, you'll meet more mature men that are serious about life, and you'll be more attracted to them. Just because you don't have a boyfriend now, doesn't mean you never will.

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A female reader, radiolay Canada +, writes (24 September 2010):

radiolay is verified as being by the original poster of the question

radiolay agony auntKenj, you brought up a great point(them dying before me) But I really can't see myself being with a guy my age.

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A female reader, Mature Lady United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2010):

A lot of people say age is only a number,but I can understand your dad's concerns you have to consider if you end up with a man of that age if you ended up having a child by the time the child was say ten your husband or partner would be in his sixty's and getting a bit too old and set in his ways to enjoy entertaining and enjoying the child,and when you are still a woman in your fifty's he would be approaching old age and not wanting to do the same things as you would.I saw it happen with my parent's my father was ten year's older than my mother they had a very good marriage but as they got older my mum still wanted to go out and about and my dad was quite happy just to sit at home in front of the fire.So you think deeply about it,but at the end of the day if it is an older man you decide on it is your life and your descision.

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2010):

Kenj agony auntAge differences in relationships are normal. However from experience, friends and co workers they are typically no more than +- 10 years.

You have to remember the bigger the age gap means you have less time to spend with that person as they will most likley die before you.

However on saying all that when it comes to true love age should hold no boundries.

Your dad is protesting because he wants what he thinks is best for you i.e. a relationship in your own age group.

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A female reader, dmartin89 United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2010):

dmartin89 agony auntYes, of course that is normal!

My boyfriend is 13 years older than me :-)

However a lot of older men are no more mature than they were in their teens underneath so you should be careful of who you pick to date. I had to go through a few frogs before i found my prince! :-)

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