A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met this guy online a couple of months back, first we just exchanged emails then we started texting and then we talked on the phone a couple of times. I think he seems nice but something inside me tells me to be cautious and wait and see( I'm not overly excited about him but I do want to meet him and see if there's a stronger connection in person)......We talked about meeting and we've tried to make plans but at first we weren't both available and he started texting me on Sat mornings asking if I wanted to go for brunch. Unfortunately I had already made plans so I couldn't meet him. I told him that it would be easier if we actually set a date to meet as I don't like to wait untill the last momment to do things and he said "no , I will not set a date...... I want to be spontaneous"..... I felt bad about making him think that I was so boring and last Sunday I woke up, went to the gym and when I got home I tested him to see if he was up for grabbing lunch... he did not reply for something like 10 hours and then he was busy. Is this guy acting normal and I am being not flexible or is he just playing with me and he likes to be spontaneaus if he is in conmtrol of things?Thank you so much for your input!!
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (6 April 2011):
 I agree with Aunty BimBim, he's got someone else and is probably looking for some fun on the side. No guy who's genuine will say 'I will not set a date.' When I first met my BF he made plans with me a week in advance. If he's free to see you what's the problem with setting a date and time?Leave this guy alone, he's just trouble.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (6 April 2011):
 He sounds married or otherwise involved.
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123 +, writes (5 April 2011):
 it sounds to me like he is playing with you so that you think about him more etc.. like i bet you think about him more when you text him and he doesn't reply for a while and you go crazy? or he says hes busy... I would be very stern with him and say this in a week in advance or not so close to the date, "Hey, this (DAY) lets go to the (place), and (activity)!" or, "hey, on (DAY), lets do something! :)".you need to show that you are confident, and yes it is a little controlling, but he probably is making sure your interested.hope this helps :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Hi, ya I actually have a similiar prob with a guy I met online. It seems to be what they do, I felt the whole conncetion thing too, and like you im still cautious,The guy I arranged to meet canncelled at the last minute, Im giving him one more chance to just meet up for a chat, if he cancels well i'll be moving on, thats really the only advice I can give you, but it seems that he is playing games with you and looking for some kind of ego boost. Heres the link to my prob, hope it helps in some way.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-wanted-to-meet-and-then-cancelled-does.html
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