A
female
age
30-35,
*edesma75
writes:Okay so i wanna ask my guy friend to a dance and i also like him... but my friend used to go out with him but not really since it only lasted a day but she broke up with him cause she didn't see him that way. Now recently she decided she liked him again but he doesn't see her that way anymore. I wanna ask him but i don't want to "betray" my friend. help and advice??
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): She is not with him. If she was meant to be, she would have been. Its true, yes, she may not like it. Its also true that it has nothing to do with her.
A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (28 January 2012):
Edgardo is right in theory, but the principle is different. I would ask her how she would feel about it first. Tell her not to put a brave face on and be honest with you when she answers.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): Boyfriends come and go, good friends are forever.
Good friends remain good friends by considering each other's feelings.
"I wanna ask him but i don't want to "betray" my friend. help and advice??"
Very thoughtful question, much better expressed than subject heading. Not looking for permission, considering friend first.
If you don't want to "betray" your friend but aren't sure, think of her first and this time don't ask her for permission or him to the dance. Note I said this time, as of today you aren't sure so whenever friends are concerned, when in doubt don't; you'll never regret what you didn't do, and when you and she have a chance to talk afterward you'll know you did the right thing even if she doesn't come out and say it. That's what friends do for each other, she'd do the same for you.
Believe me, you'll remember the time you didn't ask this guy out for her sake long after any dance you may attend together because you and she will still be friends.
Spinning Edgardo's answer, just because you are entitled doesn't mean you are obligated. Goes beyond semantics, etiquette may say dating an official ex is not a "betrayal," what's more important to you is what she would consider a "betrayal." If you don't know how she'd react, don't engender a reaction. It's just one dance, a few days will not make a difference with him but will mean a lifetime to her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 January 2012):
 Ask your friend how she would feel about it first.
...............................
|
