A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I was really into this girl who I had been talking with awhile and we went out last weekend and had a great date. It was amazing chemistry and we both really seemed to like each other. The thing is she recently got out of a relationship about a month ago and it ended really badly and things sort of blew up. She saw her ex again at a wedding last weekend and they apparently chatted. Her and I were supposed to meet for dinner tonight and she texted me a couple hours before and cancelled; saying she thinks she isn't over her ex and she needs to be in a better frame of mind to start/continue dating. She thought I was really great and apologized but I'm still a bit confused. Is this something I should wait out or is she saying she doesn't want to date me? I told her I thought she was terrific and I'd love to see her again so she knows how I feel. Is this a girl just taking a polite "I'm not interested" route or does she really just need time? and how much? Sorry for all the questions :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2014): Let her take as much time as she wants. In the meantime, move on and forget about her as a prospect. Find someone who is available and wants to be with you, otherwise your ego will be always bruised.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 It means that she is interested in you, but can't deal with it right now. She needs to sort through her feelings for her ex. She may even reconcile with him. I would say to keep in contact with her, but keep your options open (meaning if there is an opportunity to date someone else, go for it). You never know what the future holds. Even if you're the rebound guy, it does not mean that it can't be love. The last guy I dated was a rebound guy, and so far it's going better than expected;)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 It's a bit of both, I think.
This girl can actually like you and feel chemistry and all, AND realize that you would be the rebound guy. And that if you got more involved, she would not be really happy, still having the other dude in mind- and it wouldn't be even considerate to you.
Let's put it this way : she is interested- but alas she is STILL more interested in the other guy ( and possibly still hoping and schemig to get him back ).
Unluckily, some times it is all about timing.
Should be waiting for her ? I'd say no- let it to fate or destiny or what - you- call - it.
She CAN'T give you a timeline, some times it does not take logd to nurse a broken heart back to health, some times it may take months, maybe years .
I hope this won't be the case, but , it would be foolish for you to just be sitting on your hands hoping that some day she gives you green light.
Life is now- and " time waits for no one, and it won't wait for you " as Mick Jagger would say.
I'd say, let things play out naturally. She knows you are into her, so maybe if she snaps out of her crush on the ex pretty fast, ..you'll still be single and she can catch up with you. Otherwise, if you have moved on, or she has moved on, and the thing fizzles anyway, .. it was just not meant to be.
I think basically that's your only choice, because, even if you'd choose to " wait for her ", what could you do in practice ? would you text her once a week or so, to ask her " So,.. are you over him yet ? "...
You'd risk coming off as the typical child on a family trip " Mom, are we there yet ? are we there yet ? ". Most annoying ! it would turn her off even if she does like you.
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