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Is it a good idea to pay an escort to date me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2020) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2020)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello

I am a male virgin who has never been on a date or kissed a girl. I have many friends who are women but never had a girlfriend. I'm not particularly handsome and I am chubby. I'm bald also. I basically look like a gorilla. I am socially awkward and have no idea how to ask women out on dates.

I love to draw, I love comic books, I write my own screenplays, I watch movies, I have a big collection of movies, I play video games, I love mysteries of the world such as aliens, big foot, or ghosts stories, I love pro wrestling.

I've tried online dating - not much luck. Most of the time, we'll have a conversation and then she stops responding. I figure she must have gotten bored. As time goes by, I'm starting to feel as though it's not meant to happen. Like I'm bad genetics meant to not carry on or something and the universe is making sure of that.

I would love to experience dating and sex. I want to feel like I'm normal because I feel like I don't belong on this planet.

Would an escort help?

View related questions: escort, never had a girlfriend, video games

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (2 November 2020):

I don't think there's anything wrong with finding an escort. It may help you with your confidence. Start getting into shape, eat healthy, work out, spend time with an escort (just don't get taken advantage of), and maybe in a few months you'll feel like a different person.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 November 2020):

Honeypie agony auntAn escort won't be dating you.

You will be paying for her to be around. That isn't dating.

Paying for sex won't make you feel better. I bet.

With all those hobbies, so you belong to some forums? or groups/ clubs? maybe you are looking for women who aren't the right fit for you. Maybe looking for someone to bond over these hobbies is a better start?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2020):

An es off will enable you to have sex but doing thag will also mean thag many possibly most women will never want anything to do with you . It will be a secret you will most likely forever need to hide from a woman when you do meet one ,and you will meet someone and that wrong .

Most women don’t think much of men who believe consent can be bought and who don’t have the intelligence or empathy to look deeper into the societal inequalities that lead to men buying sex from women ( and yes it is MOSTLY men buying women not the other way around )

Women not only respect and admire confidence but integrity I would say is at least as important or more important . Do you think we want children with a man who will pay women for access to thief bodies to father our children or be put life partners ?

You have more to offer than you think . You have valuable qualities . DONT give away one of the most important ones for the chance at quick sex

Work on your confidence , develop empathy and understand of the world through a more balanced viewpoint not just the male centric view that society tends to encourage . Most men don’t bother to ever do this and they blindly follow the sexist stereotypes that lead them to never question prostitiation or why it might be wrong to be a John

You’ll meet someone and when you do she will know how lucky she is to have found a gem in an ocean of rock

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (1 November 2020):

kenny agony auntNo I don't think that an escort will help. They will make all the right noises, and make you feel special like they are really in to you. But you have to understand that they are doing a job, and the next client they will be doing exactly the same thing. At the end of the day they will only be interested in what's in your wallet.

don't feel like its not meant to happen, your time will come I assure you. You are not bad genetics, and the universe is not impeding you from meeting anyone.

Stop judging yourself so much and learn to love yourself a little more. I think that there is someone out there for everyone.

Take a step back from trying to find someone, put your energies into those great hobbies of yours, I'm sure that there are plenty of women out there who are into these things as well, and straight away you will share a common interest.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2020):

Only you know if you can afford to pay an escort.

But please be more honest about this. You do not mean an escort you mean a prostitute. And they do not date you, they sleep with you. If you want to pay them to spend a whole evening with you that would work out very, very expensive, you usually pay per hour.

Sometimes guys meet a prostitute and pay them for sex and then, because she makes them feel so grown up, manly and gives them orgasms they get it into their head they are in love with her and must date her - forget any of those ideas. It would be very convenient and handy for you but nothing in it for her and she would have to be very dumb to agree to it. They get asked this all the time by rich good looking men anyway.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2020):

A lot of men have an obsession with looks and have this idea that the woman must be younger,gorgeous, curvy, sexy or she is not good enough (I find this hilarious when many of the men are old, fat, bald and ugly themselves).

Women tend to think more about personality, integrity, honesty, if the guy has a good job and is a solid bet to settle down with and make a life with, if he wants children, if he would make a good father and so on.

I know lots of fat, bald ugly guys who have a great sex life and love life and relationship. That would not get in the way.

Being self defeatist and having no confidence gets in the way - big time.

And the hobbies you list - well. I write screen plays! That only counts if they are great screen plays that people are seriously interesting in buying.

I knew a guy once who said I am a photographer. Yet when you looked at the photos he had taken there were pictures with half a face or where the person was turning around. He was terrible at it. No idea whatsoever. Only be proud of something you do it if you are good at it.

Loads of guys (and some women) love computer/video games. Loads of people love watching movies. But where does that figure in meeting someone for a relationship?

Pro wrestling? How many women do you think will be interested in that?

I like watching such and such would not turn me on. I can watch such and such on my own or with friends.

And if you tell prospective girlfriends that you look like a gorilla of course they will disappear.

You need to concentrate on selling yourself, the good bits.

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