A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts,I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year - we both work hard and only see each other of a weekend (but all weekend). It took him a long time to say 'I love you' (said it for the first time last month, and even now I can see that when he says it is never him saying it first and he always sounds uncomfortable). Anyway, i am a loving person but have had to suppress that side of me to a certain extent. My main concern is that, given our ages, I am worried that he will never want to settle down with me. He has never mentioned marriage, children etc. I have told him that I want these things of course, and once or twice he has said that he wants those things too, one day. He is nearly 42 though! He has been married briefly before but that was many years ago and the breakup was amicable. Am I wasting my time with him - I'm concerned that I will end up being with him for many years with no commitment, which has happened to me in the past? What can I do to get him to at least open up about what he wants?! Is he using me for a fun time at the weekend only? Thanks for any advice xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (26 March 2009):
 girl...don't i know exactly what you mean...my guy is 40 and still doesn't know when he want to get married...or if he's going to get married...he'd been with another female for over 10yrs and still didn't marry her...what these guys are waiting for I don't know but i've chosen not to wait with them...and as far as waiting until foreplay to ask him...personally i don't think that's going to work neither, because then he'll either go limp or lie because he wants you to continue...
A
male
reader, guppypig +, writes (26 March 2009):
Every indication is that he only wants the sex. You seem to have a talent for attracting the squeamish, non-commital sort, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if he turned out to be another one.
The next time you have sex, ask him during foreplay what he wants. His penis will force him to be honest.
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