A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is really immature of me but I usually tend to mimick whoever I'm with one of those you do this I'll do the same kind of things. Now it's about dreaded Facebook. So I've been with my guy for a little over a year and we both had accounts (I deleted mine) but during that time he wanted his pictures on my profile and I actually had no problem with it I asked before I posted it and he seemed very happy since it was a public commitment bla bla that was about 6 months ago. He posted mine and his picture for about a week took it off and since then he has not posted my picture or has any mention of me on his page and if I post anything to his page he deletes it asap. He has an ex that messaged him about how dare you post that whore (me) on your page. Now he does have a child with his ex and he claims she is psycho and "might harm the child" if he posts our picture. The kicker here is that she does know about us and that we have been together all this time. So wouldn't she have harmed the kid by now? The other kicker is that I had to have our picture up on mine and that I was in a relationship because "other guys might send me a private message". So how do I go about telling him to man up. It seems as if he is very fearful of his ex and we have mutual friends I know her family I've actually met her a few times and she doesn't seem psycho. You think it's because he wants her back or just that he's a good for nothing pos that's finally showing his true colors
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2015): The reason he's not worried about the child being harmed is because if she was to do something she would have done it already trying to have a conversation leads to talks of breaking up . My fb page was the official cause of the problems but I didn't care about it until he said something about mine. The whole you do it to me I'll do it to you (again immature I know) but because I deleted mine I expected something in return I have a few family members that I communicate with on Facebook and I expected him to think let me do something for her too as a thank you but nope. I thank you all for your input,I did decide that it's done since his ex does dictate everything in his life and it seems as if he has no respect for me or our "relationship" and the comment that really pushed me over the top is the fact that we do hang out at his house and that's that we don't ever go out his family and friends "know" about me but none of them have seen me met me or any of that so I guess I was the dumb one to keep the hope
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2015): I think the biggest issue here is that he thinks his ex may harm their child if she sees something she doesn't like. Aren't you more worried about a man you are seeing not doing anything to take his child away from her?
If he's making that up and his ex isn't a psycho, like you suspect, then you need to get rid of him anyway! Either way whatever he's telling fibs about neither scenario is good.
If she isn't a psycho and he's telling you rubbish then imagine what else he says about people, maybe saying about you to her. If she really called you a whore where did she get that info from?
I don't think you should worry about him not posting photos of you together you should be more worried about the stuff that he makes up.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 December 2015):
 A double standard is never a good sign.
Blaming his behavior on his ex is a cop out.
He was into you the first week or so... then he saw something that made him think it was just a case of "you will do for now"
I think that before I tell you he's a POS and to kick him to the curb I would want to know if you go out with him and his friends and have you met his family..
do you spend time together doing things or do you just chill out at home and have sex a lot?
Truthfully a man in love with a woman puts her above all others (except biological minor children)
if he fears his ex will harm his child why is is not seeking custody of this child.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 December 2015):
 I know that people seem to put a LOT of significance into Facebook and Facebook related crap, but it IS just Facebook.
As for her hurting her child over it? If he thought that was possible then he is a VERY neglectful parent. I mean WHAT father in his right mind would LET his child be with a mother who will HURT her child over Facebook? Seriously?
So who is the drama llama here? I'm thinking your BF. He is painting his ex as this heinous crazy evil woman, yet he is perfectly happy to let her RAISE his child. Makes no sense to me.
And what KIND of man, let a woman he is no longer dating DECIDE what he can post on a social website?
Personally, I think HE likes to appear single on FB and is using his ex as an "excuse" to not have YOU appear prominently on it.
I don't have an active FB anymore - mostly due to people on my husband's side and they drama which they tried to spill over on everyone's FB - so mine is inactive. I just don't want to deal with their kind of nonsensical drama and utter falseness..
I don't subscribe to the idea that FB is an important part of a relationship. Not one bit.
HOWEVER, with that said, HE can't dictate that you HAVE to have his picture on yours if he doesn't want to keep yours on his. That is pretty simple. And HE can't dictate what you put on your FB, whether you have a FB or not. FB is not reality and posting a picture is NOT an indication of rel commitment.
Your bf IS controlling and he is an asshat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2015): I've tried to come to a conclusion about it he's become very difficult to talk to lately (last month or so). He was really nice honest giving down to earth my best friend and then all of a sudden he was different so hes become one of those controlling people or is trying to be controlling and I don't know if this is him I think I would have spotted a control freak sooner, I'm thinking fb or me if he picks fb that'll make our goodbye a lot easier
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (10 December 2015):
 It doesn't seem fair does it. Of course the obvious solution is that he closes his FB account too. I don't think the world would come to an end if he did that. I sincerely believe life can exist without social media.
It is hard to gauge his motives for taking down your pictures from his FB page. You haven't really given us enough to assess his character or what could be his real motives.
You seem to suggest that he is wrong about his ex' being a 'psycho'. Again it is hard to make a judgement on that. Who knows what she is like behind closed doors?
I come back to my original comment. I would explain to him that his FB account is causing trouble between you and him, and also possibly between him and his ex' (if we are to believe him). Therefore for the good of all it would be helpful if he came off FB for the time being.
If he won't you have the argument, Which is more important, FB or your relationship?
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 December 2015):
It doesn't seem fair does it. Of course the obvious solution is that he closes his FB account too. I don't think the world would come to an end if he did that. I sincerely believe life can exist without social media.
It is hard to gauge his motives for taking down your pictures from his FB page. You haven't really given us enough to assess his character. You seem to suggest that he is wrong about his ex' being a 'psycho'. Again it is hard to make a judgement on that. Who knows what she is like behind closed doors.
I come back to my original comment. I would explain that his FB account is causing trouble between you and him, and also possibly between him and his ex' if we are to believe him. Therefore for the good of all it would be helpful if he came off FB for now.
If he won't you have the argument which is more FB or your relationship.
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